I know I'm occasionally guilty of the 'begging for compliments' syndrome, but what concerns and, quite frankly, confuses me, is how they can allow that insecurity to completely control their outlook on life. Like they'll never be happy until they're a size two and have skin that is smooth as a baby's bottom.
I'm not saying that I don't like to make a good first impression. Or that I don't know the value of a flattering angle or a few picture retakes.
What I AM saying is that intentionally untagging yourself from a Facebook photo or even requesting that it be removed entirely seems a bit ridiculous. And a bit sad, really.
Do you think that people don't know what you look like?.. Do you think that they don't almost instantaneously forget whatever it is you're obsessing over? I'll tell you what they won't forget: the petty side that comes across when you throw a tissy fit over something so minuscule. Deleting your connection to the image or even the image itself doesn't mean that it wasn't a picture of you.
And it certainly doesn't mean that you're not fine just the way you are.
Amazing, even.
No one is 100% photogenic. There are going to be a few less attractive shots of even the most universally accepted beauties. And the sooner we realize this, the easier it will be to stop judging so harshly and overreacting so much.
You are the only one who notices that blemish or wrinkle or pit taco or what-have-you. And guess what?.. When the rest of us see that picture, all we notice is how happy you look or how much we miss you or how important you are to us. And if you'd sit back a take a moment, you'd realize that most people could really care less about how much you weigh (I know.. gasp!).
And those few miserable people who do notice don't matter. Nine out of ten times, they won't even comment. And if they do, it's probably because they're stuck in the same self-loathing rut that you are. No one should feel that the only reason they can't accept themselves and how they look is because of unrealistic expectations and unwarranted judgements set on them by others.
I'm particularly worried about how this affects children. Our society's incessant desire to criticize ourselves and others is causing a chain of unacceptance that won't stop with us. I see my tween nieces and their obsession over appearances, and I worry that the damage has already been done.
But then I read THIS and THIS and start to regain a little bit of hope for humanity. Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Maybe the problem isn't that we only hate our extra weight or thin hair or crooked teeth. Like if they were gone, our world would be perfect.
Maybe the problem is that we haven't learned to accept and appreciate ourselves the way those we love accept and appreciate us. Maybe we should try looking through their eyes for a change.
Be healthy. Be thin. Be pleasantly plump. Be whatever you want. But also be happy with who you are, not who others make you feel like you should become.
So the next time you consider disliking yourself for the fear of being disliked by others, remember that "...[you are] the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you."
