The husband says that's never happened to him before. Yet another thing I just assumed was commonplace then come to find out I'm a weirdo for.
I started noticing my arm/hand spazing out last night and chalked it up to sleeping on it funny the night before or something.
Well.. that is what I told myself in my head.
The story the husband was privileged enough to hear was quite dramatic and had to do with almost choking on a kernel of corn when I was all alone at our apartment during lunch which caused me to hyperventilate and almost die. And on top of that, I had the worst case of carpel tunnel the world has ever seen.
His reaction to my diva-tude was to suggest I blend the corn into a sort of corn smoothie in the future. I pointed out a person could still die from aspirating liquid corn.
Not the direction I imagined the conversation would go, but I'll still take it.
I think, instead, I'll just avoid corn in the future.
For several reasons not limited to 1) it gets stuck in your teeth when you try to gnaw it off the cob, 2) when you then resort to cutting it off to avoid #1, small kernel get lodged in your airways and you almost go to the light and 3) some people were simply not made to digest the stuff. (TMI?.. Sorry.)
Only problem is, it's pretty hard to completely avoid.
But I will endeavor to do my best.
It's a matter of life and death you know.
My family thinks I'm ridiculous when I make such declarations. They say that the sweet corn my pops grows is practically vegetable gold.
And in the past, I'd have to agree. But now I've learned it may look all innocent and delicious, but it's really trying to kill me.
Which is ironic, because we have a lot in common, corn and I.
One time, my sister, Katerina Cupcake, made up a clever little ditty for an 'all about me' poster she helped me create in the third grade. It stated, "Corin is corn with an 'i' not an ear."
Clever, no? Get it? Get it? Because my name has the letter 'i' in it and they're called 'ears' of corn?.. Eye ---> ear. Yes?..
No?... Well never mind.
My arm still feels weird.
5 comments:
There are several foods that I avoid because they've tried to kill me onv at least one occasion. Chunky soup, beef, popcorn, honey bunches of oats, bread... yeah, lots of things.
That's quite an assorted list. Good to know...
I'm assuming corn DOGS are still acceptable though. right?
(A chiropractor helped me with hand/arm and at one point lower back numbness, just fyi, if you're concerned. ) you crack me up, as always!
Ummm... HELLO. Corn dogs are ALWAYS acceptable. ;) I do alright with cornmeal. It isn't quite as devious as its parent vegetable.
As far as the arm goes, I may just have to consider a chiropractor if it doesn't go away.
And thanks Jami! :)
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