Waiting in the Wings.

On the honeymoon, the husband and I ordered wings every chance we could get. Some were fantastically awesome, such as the piping hot buffalo wings at The Iron Horse Bar and Grill, while others were all-together lack-luster, such as those from the Wild West Pizzeria & Saloon in West Yellowstone.
(To be fair, the pizza was delicious.)

I teasingly joked that we should start a blog, documenting our chicken wing exploits. "We could call it.. 'Corinnay & Dannay: Just Wingin' It'.", I suggested. He smiled back at me with sticky lips.

What you should know is that I consider chicken wings to be the most delicious things on the whole dang planet. Given the choice, I could survive on chicken wings for the rest of my life. I mean, the possibilities are endless.
Saucy, crunchy, spicy, sweet, you name it.

I never met a chicken wing I didn't like.
Expect for the drumsticks restaurants are continually trying to pass off as 'wings'. And it's not that I don't like them, I just consider it plain ole' dishonest.

Chicken wings are more dignified than that. When cooked properly, they come apart in neat little pieces, no bone gnawing necessary.

So you can imagine, when, last night at a family get-together I was shocked and appalled to see Gem dig under a pile of Nicoitalia's hot chicken wings (meaning drumsticks) to steal that last actual juicy wing.
I was appalled at her wing etiquette.

Everyone knows that you take whatever's at the top of the food pile.
Or at least they should.

I will compile a list of chicken wing rules, just to be safe.
*ah hem*
1) Always take the piece on top of the pile. No one likes a picky wing eater.
2) Demand ranch for dipping at all costs. Blue cheese will not do.
3) Eat every tasty morsel off the bone. A chicken gave it's life for you.
Don't demean that sacrifice.
4) Always choose a crispy wing over a soggy wing. It's just common sense.
5) Do not lick your sister's last wing. You will immediately become dead to her.
6) Filling up her water bottle will not restore your sisterhood. It will simply promote you from 'spawn of Satan' to 'person' status.
7) Never leave a wing un-eaten. It's just plain wasteful. African children would be very upset.
8) Don't discriminate against un-sauced wings. In Corinner-Elly's eyes, all wings are created equal.
9) Do not remove the skin. It's the best part and.. are you crazy??
10) Partake of wings every chance you get. And I mean EVERY chance.

I wasn't going to name the 'wing licker', but for the safety of wing eaters everywhere, I shall. It was Gem. Also known as G-ster.

And no amount of flailing/swatting/holding the precious piece as far away from her as I possibly could with one arm while fending her off with the opposite foot could keep the dastardly deed from taking place.

Her status in relation to me is still pending.