Exactly Different.

I hate recipes that claim you can make something exactly like a famous restaurant. It's never true.

Granted, my mom did make some pretty amazing Winger's sauce from scratch. Good? Yes. A perfect reproduction. No.

Because no matter how much you try and convince me, it is impossible to make baked chicken that tastes 'exactly like KFC!'. Fried is fried people.

My mom is especially guilty of this.
She hates spending money so much that she insists on making everything from scratch. 'Just like the real thing'.

Except it never is.
And I am always disappointed.

I'll come home, describing my immediate need for a McDouble and she'll happily pipe in, "Why don't you just make one?"
"Because you don't have the ingredients.", I'll respond.
"Oh sure we do." she'll counter, "Everything you could possibly need."
"Buns?", I'll question.
"Well... no." she'll interject, "But you could make some!"
"Hamburger patties?"
"Hamburger that you can form into a patty."
"Cheese?"
"Swiss is just as good, right?"
"Pickles?"
"Bread and butter flavor."
"Onions?"
"Oh wait. I just ran out of those."
"MUSTARD??"
"Dijon..."

Yep. Exact replica, Mom.

What you should know about my mom is that she is an amazing cook. Without fail, every time I visit the house, she's in the process of whipping up some new concoction that she found in one of her beloved Home and Garden cookbooks.

And everyone knows that her homemade bread is to die for.
Especially the artisan bread. Mmm...

But the woman substitutes ingredients like there's no tomorrow.
This habit usually results in success but sometimes, oh sometimes, DISASTER.

I only need utter the word 'Chutnagna' in the Haymore household and it sends an immediate chill down every spine. Long story short, chutney can not be used instead of spaghetti sauce when making lasagna.

Even our trusty dog, Rowdy, wouldn't eat it.

And so today I make a desperate plea.
Do not try and convince me that your creation is 'exactly like the real thing'. It's not.

It may be tasty. It may be delicious. I may eat it.
A lot of it.

But, by golly, when I want a McDouble,
digging for change in the sofa becomes incredibly worth it.