Taken for Pomegranated

Have you ever felt a tad bit used?
Like things are going pear-shaped?
Maybe I'm just plum crazy and I don't mean to upset the apple cart but...

Wouldn't ya say after trying hard to make life a little bit easier for everyone else around you that they (silly thought I know) just might notice and thank you?

Does this sound familiar to any of you? Does anyone give a fig?

Good. Me neither.

So I've expanded my genius to gardening this weekend.
Look at the beautimous results.

Observe.

I'm kickin' myself for not taking a 'before' pic to compare to the 'after'. Seriously. The change is like day and night.

The iris' all used to be on the right and the rose was completely transplanted from the left to the middle and all of the little new un's are, well, new and the goldenrod is cut way back because it was about to take over the world and... well, you get the idea.

(oh, and BTW. Goldenrod smells like hot dogs. For reals, not for fakes.)

So basically... I have a green thumb.

*which can be a real problem color coordination-wise*

That said, I'll keep you posted on any new developments.

And by that I mean, all the transplants may just die.

But I can work around that.

A black thumb's a lot easier to match.

Dwarves are very Upsetting.

Be warned.
There's mischief afoot.

Without exception, everyday when I get into my car, my side view mirror has been re-adjusted. I've come to the conclusion that there is an evil dwarf who follows me around, determined to upset all order in my perfect world.

For a while I thought the mirror might just be falling out of position from slamming the car door after getting in.
But let's not be silly.

This is obviously the work of a dwarf.

For one.
Why are the settings always changed to accommodate a short person?

Also, my gas meter seems to go down much more quickly than the average person's.
I'm pretty sure he's joy riding.

So there you have it.
Mystery solved.
You can call me Watson.

Oh, before I forget...

Happy Gradjamication little sista!

My little baby's all grown up and...

... and savin' China. You have a tissue?

Me mom n' pops, with the help of my decorating and 'cheesestick' making expertise, threw her the pizza party of a lifetime to celebrate her accomplishment.

Aren't they beautiful?
Two Jacks would be proud.

So to you, graduate, I say 'cheers'.
As your elder sister, I offer this sound advice:

If you shake n' shake the ketshup bottle,
none will come and then a lot'll.
(Oh. And let me know if you see a bearded midget with an impish grin driving around town in a white Taurus.)

Tomato, Tomahto. Potato, Potahto. Let's call the Whole Thing off.

Isn't it interesting how we all say words differently?
And when I say 'interesting' I mean 'irritating'.
Sometimes.

Because if you're a baby then everything sounds cute.

Take 'pretzel' for example. Since when is a pretzel a 'prenzel'?

How about when we omit whole letters entirely?
Because, let's face it people, 'Uge' and 'Uman' are not words.

Show 'H' a little respect.

But speaking of pretzels, here's a batch I whipped up yesterday for a game night. I served them with a sweet mustard sauce.
Boy Howdy were they tasty, and a hit if I do say so myself.

'What's my secret?', you say?

Why, love. Of course.
And when I say 'love' I mean lots of butter and brown sugar.

The picture doesn't really do them justice...

Okay. They looked exactly like that but I had some help from an inexperienced twister.

You know who you are.

The way I keep my pinkie up indubitably proves...

Tell me this.
Why are the petite peoples of the world so harassed?
My coworkers and I have recently been discussing the matter.

If I want to hold my pinkie up while drinking a glass of water, who's to say I can't? Or shouldn't for that matter?

Or when I'm eating my sack lunch and feel so inclined as to hold, heaven forbid, both pinkies up.
Is this against moral code?

No, I say!
Dainty people of the world UNITE!

We must learn from the example of my sister-in-law who recently taught her daughters that even mowing the lawn can be enhanced by a 'pinkies-up, bum-out & swagger' approach.

So to all you who dare to be elegant. Bravo.
Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
And if they persist in bullying you,

Just flip em' the pinkie.

(Before I forget, look what I finished. It's my birthday gift to me. I'm so happy...)

Leave the Sewin' to the Women.

Firstly, I do believe I need to clarify what it means to be Corinner-Elly. There is some confusion on the subject and I would like to clear things up.

To begin with, Corinner-Elly never b****es. She just muses. Politely.

Secondly, Corinner-Elly loves to share her creativity with others. However, this does in no way nullify the disclaimer made in regards to sarcasm. *see 'Why, Hullo There.'*

And thirdly, Corinner-Elly is friends with all peoples and woodland creatures.
Specifically: talking mice.

So.
Moving on to more important matters.
Last night, I was delighted to be part of 'Sewing Night 2010'.
Also referred to as 'Night of Chaos 2010' by some.

My sister, four nieces and I compiled our resources and got a sewin'. Here are some of the fantasmical results of our efforts.

We succeeding in making roughly 2 1/2 beach bags for this summer's swimming adventures.

All with minimal amounts of crying & bickering and maximum amounts of teasing & laughter.

And as if that weren't enough, I was richly rewarded upon being bestowed this adorable scripture bag; made from the leftover beach bag scraps.

See?
Being Corinner-Elly is fun.
(and even if it wasn't, of course she'd never say so.)

I'm Just Sayin'...

Yay!Look at me being all seamstress-y.
Seems like that's been my life for the past few days.
I'm just sayin'.

This little number was a present from my mom to our Canadian adoptee, whom I will call Candy.

Of course, when I say present 'from my mom', I mean she called me late Saturday night to tell me that she needed a present pronto for Candy's Sunday birthday party. *bless her heart*

Naturally, from the pure kindness of my heart, I offered to help her out. This translated to:

A) selecting and purchasing all of the fabric and notions
B) cuting, pinning, cuting and sewing the entire apron
C) pressing and wrapping the present
D) labeling it 'From: Mom'

*sigh*
How did a nice girl like me end up in a mess like this?
I'm just sayin'.

(Note: I couldn't, however, resist also labeling that the slave labor, for said present, had been provided by none other than their very own Corinner-Elly.)

Why, Hullo There.

I see you've stumbled upon my newest creation:
Corinner-Elly.

A site of wonderment and creativity.

So named due to the never-ending throng of people clamoring for my ingenuity. 'Every time I find a minute, that's the time that they begin it.'

And, let's face it, I'm the humblest person I know.

Therefore.
Here I will post my latest projects, my most recent idiosyncrasies and the musings of an OCD female.
(CDO, if you'd like to be alphabetically correct. and you would)

Welcome to the magical world of anality.

*Disclaimer:  Those unable to neither comprehend nor appreciate sarcasm are hereby warned and advised to find entertainment elsewhere. However, seeing as how all entertainment derives from sarcasm, I would suggest simply staring at the wall until you slowly drift into madness. Thank you.*