Mother-Chucker!

Here's the thing, and I believe I've mentioned it before, but I'm a member of the clean plate club. A proud member, in fact. It's not that I eat everything on my plate because I'm ravenous. I simply like food, and I like it organized. Why miss out on a single delicious morsel?

That being said, I am baffled as to why the people in my family feel so compelled to disrupt the order in my perfect little world. The status of my plate doesn't affect them whatsoever, and yet they are, without fail, intent on noticing and destroying my inner plate peace. 

So today, when my mom called to invite me to lunch with Gem and my two brothers, I happily (and perhaps naively) accepted. They wanted to go to the India Palace for the lunch buffet. I didn't argue, because coconut korma is delicious, and I'm easy to please.

Okay, okay. So it's Monday.
But the servers were wearing some pretty sweet turbans.

There was also an awesome TV channel playing ridiculous Indian sitcoms and hilarious Bollywood music videos in the background. So an overall win.

That is, until we were ready to leave and my brother, Air-bear, informed the group that, once again, my plate was too clean and instructed my mother to do something about that.

I wasn't worried. She's my mom. She'd never do anything to..

PLOP.

And that was when I died from surprise. My sweet, little, peacemaker mother slopped a fork full of leftover chicken tikka masala onto my dish. She didn't even hesitate. I was dumbfounded.

So I sat reeling while everyone around me chuckled.
This is the woman who believes sarcasm is only thinly veiled rudeness. This is the woman who gave me so many motherly compliments growing up, I found it hard to believe they could all be true. This is the woman who was supposed to be on my side. Always.

And yet there she was, laughing. Not with me. AT ME.

That was when I realized that everything I'd ever believed in was a lie. A sentiment that was reinforced two minutes later when I stood to leave and realized that my wallet was no longer resting safely on the table. I immediately accused my siblings, who had suspiciously turned their backs to me. But no. You guessed it. It was Mom. AGAIN.

So I ask: Who is this woman and what has she done with my mother!??