Everyday's a Holiday!

Yup. That's right.
You're allowed to lounge around in your jammies, eat whatever you want and take a ridiculously long nap.

EVERY DAY.

Okay... so not exactly.
But you can celebrate each new day 'as if' it were a holiday.

In fact, someone has even gone so far as to compile a list of 'US National Holidays' just for your viewing and celebrating pleasure.
HERE.

As you may have well realized by now, today is 'National Festival of Popular Delusions Day'.

Can I hear a collective "Huhn?..."

Let me spell it out for ya.

'National' meaning 'of or relating to a nation'.

*Sidenote: If, in the near future, you should be in need of a definition, never fear! Simply add 'of or relating to' in front of a shorter variation of the word and wah-LAH. Instant success.*

'Festival' meaning 'of, relating to, appropriate to, or set apart as a festival.

Hold on. Is it just me or is including the word itself in its own definition considered a big 'no-no'?

Oh Merriam and Webster.

You tricky devils.

'Of' meaning... um... okay. If I have to define 'of' for you, you are out of the herd FUR SHUR.

'Popular' meaning 'of or relating to the general public'.

Or that extremely annoying song from Wicked.

And last but not least, 'delusions'. Meaning 'the act or state of being deluded'.

Now are we clear? Or are you seriously questioning my sanity? Either way, I think I'll continue.

To commemorate such a blessed day, I thought I'd compile my top ten list of Corinner-Elly's popular delusions. Enjoy.

#1- I suffer from Tater-Tot Syndrome.

If you aren't familiar with said disease, I shall try to explain.

First off, tater-tots are debatedly one of the most delicious things on the whole darn planet.

Secondly, sometimes my hands work more quickly and efficiently than my brain.

And third, don't believe a word 'da twinneh' says. She's a compulsive liar. (see #2)

#2- 'Da twinneh' is a compulsive liar.

Okay. Maybe I was exaggerating a tad but my version of the story is always better.

#3- Incessantly correcting bad grammar will make a difference.

But, by golly, I'm still gonna do it.

#4- A clean plate is a happy plate.

Okay. No matter what anyone says, this statement is TRUE. And to all you wasters out there who leave three lonely grains of rice on your Mi Rancherito platter I say "for shame!" and proceed to slap your hand.

#5- Drowned worms need saving.

How can words express my horror after viewing the carcass covered sidewalk each rainy day?

#6- Wearing heels is always practical.

I attribute my 'man calves' to this falsehood.

#7- Chicken is delicious.

True that, right? Except in certain cases where a person had a certain pet chicken who was their pride and joy then a certain someone, appropriately nicknamed 'CK', pronounced a death sentence upon its head for harmless early morning crowing.

All hypothetical, of course.

#8- No hairstyle is complete without some sort of adornment.

Apparently, some people think feathers should stay on birds and not in my hair.

#9- Baby oil is made from babies.

Come on folks.

Corn oil is made from corn. Olive oil is made from olives.

How else are we to explain things?

#10- Someday, I may be considered 'normal'.

*pfft.* Like that's ever gonna happen.