She goes around in circles 'til she's very, very dizzy.

Showing posts with label car maintenance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label car maintenance. Show all posts

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Bo-Daddy-Bo!

What I learned today:
There's always a reward for every good deed.

Like that time when I finally vacuumed out my car after months of neglecting shameful crumb build-up and found a perfectly good, un-opened fortune cookie under the seat.

WIN.

Unfortunately, this also works in reverse.

Like when my car increasingly became harder and harder to start until finally... it didn't.

FAIL.

Is this karma or something?
Am I being punished for crashing that Seven Peak's Waterpark activity that wasn't technically for my stake!?!

Come on! There was plenty of pizza to go around...

But, ya know what?
I had a hero come to my aid. I'm just that lucky.

He may not be faster than a speeding bullet, but he's still Superman to me.

So Daddy...
Remember when you let me drive your car to high school almost everyday and didn't even flinch when I had a few parking lot mishaps? (All, not my fault. Just so you know.)

And then, remember how you let me take that car to college, year after year after year even though I'm sure it was a major inconvience to you and Mom?

Remember those times when I hauled it back to the house so that you could change the oil or check the tire pressure on a car that you never got to drive and yet still paid insurance for?

To make matters worse, remember that time I called you to report that said car had run out of gas because I had mistakenly trusted that, at some point, the gas light should/would turn on?

And then as if that weren't enough, remember when it broke down on Center Street, a block from where you were peacefully working and I immediately called you?

Because I knew you'd do anything for me?

...

Remember when, you instantly dropped all of the important things you were doing and came to my rescue?

Remember how it took you minutes to determine what was wrong but still gave two do-gooder auto mechanics, who happened to be passing by, the opportunity to voice their opinion (meaning, bang around in the engine for a minute), fully knowing that you had far more experience/expertise in the matter?

Remember how you had all of the tools on hand and knew exactly what to ask for at Checker Auto Parts to finish the job?


Remember how said part cost a good chunk of cash, as in, I may have to donate plasma to cover the loss?

Remember how you lied on a dirty street under a filthy car in your nice work clothes to make the repair?


Remember how you got dirt flecks in your hair, grease stains under your fingernails and ruined a brand new shirt?


Remember how, as if anything could have gotten worse, it started raining and you laughed at me when I whipped out an umbrella to hold over us both because I am just that prepared?
(I am my father's daughter you know. :D)

Remember how the whole process required you to take a three hour lunch break?

Remember how you're the best dad in the history of the whole, wide world?

I Do.
And I'll never forget.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

By All Accounts, It Doesn't Make Sense...

Ever seen those girls?
You know. They're all over the place.
Oh, come on. You've seen the type.
Know what I mean? No?

Those girls.
The one's who have a waist circumference of, like, 2 inches.
The ones who may just snap given the smallest wind.

Uh huh. Them.

Here's my question: How in the world do they fit all their organs in there? I mean, really. There's just no way.

Quite frequently, I see one of 'them' walk by and think to myself, "She's gotta be missing a liver or something."

Riddle me this: there are 22 internal organs in the human body, the majority of which (I'm guessing), are located somewhere in the torso. So it's only reasonable to assume that they all have to fit in there somewhere, right?

Apparently not. Because there seems to be an entire female sub-population that has clearly been jipped, in some form or another, out of vital appendages.

Of course, I speak as an outsider.
I'm sure you've noticed, I'm no Pixie Stick.
I have room enough for my insides plus some.

But still a sissy girl, right?

HaHA! There's where you are WRONG!
Looky here. Yah, that's right.


I added oil to my car. WOOT.


Oh, but ick. Look at the grossness.

Alright, alright. Maybe I am a teensy bit sissy. But I mean really. No ten minute job should require so much grime.

Seriously.
I'm just trying to be a responsible car-driver-person here. In the past, all I had to do was bat my eyes at Daddy. But now that I'm on the eve of the big 2-1, I figured I could broaden my horizons. Look on the wild side. Be a rebel without a cause.

Figure out how to pop the hood?...

Needless to say, I only stood studying the engine, eyes glazed over, for a few minor moments. Then, being the adult that I am, I ran inside and asked Daddy, "Okay. Tell me one more time?... You take the thingy out of where and then do WHAT?"

By the way, do you know how hard it is to get that wobbly little dipstick back into its hole, especially when you're trying to hold onto it with two fingers, max? One-and-a-half, if that's even possible?

Hard. Times a bazillion.

But never fear.
Good news is: I have all my organs.

And a little grease never hurt anyone. Yet. 

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