Lilly-isms

I just returned from a week long excursion to my sister Ann's home in Oklahoma. (Her kids have now started saying 'all ya'll'. It's not pretty..) 

While there, I played 'mommy' for a week to her five children, Livie-Lou, Cam-Cam, Buddy-boy, Lilly-Poppins and Lancer-Prancer, while she on her husband were on a business trip/vacation.

And before I hear any more about leaving my poor husband defenseless at home, let it be known that he was similarly out of town for a business trip to Virginia. I don't know how that somehow makes it better, but people generally breathe a sigh of relief when I say it.

Now, I am not new at this whole 'taking care of children thing', but that doesn't mean that I still didn't get a few surprises along the way. The first was when I went to unload the dishwasher and found that one of the cups in the cupboard was right-side up instead of flipped over like the rest of them. Thinking nothing of it, I quickly flipped it over to stack with the newly cleaned cups. And that was precisely when I, and everything within a two-foot radius, was doused with the lemonade that I had told my niece Lilly to finish earlier.

I swear, that girl is the cutest dang poosie I've ever seen. One minute, she's being a little monster and the next, she's giving you the 'cute' face for five hours.

And believe me you, you cannot deny the cute face.

The little turkey did it so much, her little brother even caught on.
By the end of the week, she was calling it her 'get what I want' face.

She was so excited to have me come.
She even made a chain to count down the days. I heard over and over again how she'd wake up every morning and the first thing she'd want to do is rip a link off her chain. It was pretty dang adorable.

And I can't even begin to express how many times she made me laugh each day. All of the kiddos were entertaining, but every other thing the Lilly-popper said was quotable.

Here are a select few I recorded for you:

Lilly: "Can we paint my nails?.."
Corinner-Elly: "Sure. I have some nail polish that is pink and turns purple in the sun."
Lance: *the whole time* "Ooo.. Nice!"
Lilly: "Are they dry??" *wipes them on my face*

Lilly: "You know what I want?.."
Corinner-Elly: "What?"
Lilly: "Two white horses, to stay the same size, two swy flahters and a carriage."
Corinner-Elly: "Two fly swatters?.."
Lilly: "Yah. So I can whack the ones that fly around my head!"

Lilly: *sniffling* "Corin.. can you get mad at Bennett a little bit because he got mad at me.."

Corinner-Elly: "For pete's sakes, hold still!!"
Lilly: "Four pizza's STEAK?!"

Corinner-Elly: "Thank you, thank you. I backed out of the driveway. Children, save your applause."
Lilly: "Corin...we don't have PAWS we have FINGERS."

Lilly: *while driving* "Can I have a drink of water from your bottle?"
Corinner-Elly: "Sure, but don't spill or I'll have to throw you out on the side of the road."
Lilly: *indignant huff* "Corin.. my mom said 'I'll never kill my Lilly'.."

Lilly: *after a lot of crocodile tears* "I'm sad because I'm just having a rough day.."

Lilly: "Guess what?"
Corinner-Elly: "Chicken butt."
Lilly: "No!! Guess what?.."
Corinner-Elly: "Chicken butt."
Lilly: *frustrated sigh* "Corinner!.. Gue-.. (Thinking twice) Do you know the dirt?"
Corinner-Elly: "Yeah."
Lilly: "Did you know it's worm poo!?"
Corinner-Elly: "What??... No it isn't.."
Lilly: "Yah-huh! My mom told me."

Lilly: "Umm... How does Santa come down the chimney?.. Doesn't he hurt his bum on those?" (pointing to the fireplace logs)

Lilly: "Corin!!! I need you to wipe my bum!" *doing the deed* "Thanks Corin. You're my champion! Well.. my dirty champion."

Corinner-Elly: "Lilly, please go put that little car back in the garage so that it doesn't blow into the road."
Lilly: "It's okay. Mom keeps it dirty so that we can clean up."

Lilly: "Corinner, know what? If  you eat something lots and lots, your eyes will turn that color. I want to eat all the candy canes so that they are striped red and white!"

Lilly: "Can we PLEEEEEASE watch another Phineas and Ferb??" *makes cute face, as usual*
Corinner-Elly: "Nope. It's time for bed. But you can have a few Oreos."
Lilly: *excited gasp* "Oreos!! Come on! Oreos people!" (spoken to her siblings with an authoritative gesture)

Lilly: "Can I have a minty mint or gum or something??"
Corinner-Elly: "Nope. You've eaten everything I've got."
Lilly: "Well then what can I have?.."
Corinner-Elly: "Some nice refreshing, cool air."
Lilly: "Corin!.. You don't eat air! You breathe it out."
Bennett: "You breathe it in too, Lill."
Lilly: "Easy for you to say Bennett.."

Corinner-Elly: "Daisy got loose today so I had to spank her bum."
Lilly: "You don't spank dogs Corinner. You konk them."

Corinner-Elly: "Your mom and dad come home in two days."
Lilly: *perks up* "Two... days?! NO!! Don't leave me with these people!"

And as if all of that didn't melt my heart, she proceeded to say things such as:

Lilly: "I'm going to be so, so sad when you leave!"

Lilly: "You could win all the prizes and championships, you have such a beautiful voice."

Lilly: "You are the best mom ever!!"

The second thing I learned is that children really do leave every light on in the house. I thought my parents were being dramatic when I was a kid, but no. Every. Single. Light. Every. Single. Day. I swear I spent the entire trip walking around from room to room flipping off the switches. According to my sister, they inherited this trait from their dad.

And the third (of many) things I learned, was that playing 'mom' to five crazy kids for a week didn't change my desire to have a big family one bit. Since I've been home, multiple people have semi-facetiously asked if the experience made me change my mind on when and how many children I want.

They shouldn't have been surprised when I told them it had the opposite effect. I can't wait to start a family! It's going to be the best!

Because anyone who knows me could tell you I've wanted to have only one occupation for as long as I can remember: to be a mom.

So while some might say that picking up and dropping off, cleaning up after, cooking for and settling down five children sounds exhausting, I say that it was my perfect vacation. A little taste of the future doing my dream job.

Excusez-Moi?...

I've been home from England for a good chunk now but only recently realized that I hadn't posted the list of things I noticed/learned while abroad that I had been saving in my phone's notes.

I've also been given a stern rebuke by a distant sister who wants more blog posts. Now. Dang it.

So here's the gist. I'll keep it short and sweet.
Or long and exhaustive. I can't quite decide which.

Regardless, I'm at work and I have nothing else to do.
Ah hem.

What Corinner-Elly Noticed/Learned in Europe:

1. An airplane is like a cocoon.

It really is. Think about it. You climb inside, all nestled and safe and you're not allowed out until the proper time.

And when you emerge, you're a beautifully radiant butterfly...

Okay, that may be a bit of an overstatement... Considering I look like I've been hibernating for the winter/been run over by a truck when I step off a plane.

Actually, aren't cocoons made out of caterpillar spit and/or vomit?... This could also be applicable because, during plane rides, I tend to think a lot about the two and whole-heartily pray that I might be spared from both.

Now that I think about it, planes really aren't like cocoons.
They're more like death traps. (Never, ever watch Final Destination...)

2. Drivers are bad everywhere.

I've ranted before about how people are biased against Utah drivers, but I'm here to tell you (as a seasoned world traveler) that, regardless of where you are, there will be insanity on the highway.

Throw in a plethora of round-abouts and you're up for a veritable smorgasbord of 'close-calls'.

I've driven with lead foots, road ragers, grannies, tailgaters, speed demons and brake slammers. All, unpleasant in-and-of themselves.

But put them on an narrow, winding road in the English countryside and you've got a recipe for disaster. I'm not even joking when I say that I almost died and my nephew very nearly got run over by a bus...

So just remember:
life isn't fair, bacon is delicious and drivers are bad.

3. I hate border checks.

I'm sure you all remember my trip to Scotland?... It's a repressed memory that I hesitate to bring up. But when I related my unhappy encounter with the airport security officials who were determined to send me over the edge on an already horrible day, I was only scraping the surface of the issue.

Namely, airports suck. Bad.

I think I spent more time waiting in line at customs than I actually did in Britain! (Okay, this is an exaggeration, but I feel strongly on the topic, alright?)

All I'm saying is that little stamp in my passport is NOT worth my sanity. End of story.

4. Warm water impossible?...

So I get to England, go to wash my hands and notice something peculiar... There are two faucets, one on each side of the sink. One is red, one is blue.

I go for blue, thinking it to be a good choice right?
Blue is nice. I like blue.

Freezing. Cold.

How 'bout red? Can't hurt to try.

Scalding, burning, painfully hot.

So how, may you ask, did I get warm water?
I didn't.

Because, no matter how hard I tried, I could not combine the polar opposites in my hands and splash them onto my face quickly enough.

So I decided to call a truce and never wash at all.
Still on strike as we speak...

5. You never miss a drinking fountain until you don't have one.

I spent approximately $1,000,000.00 on water bottles in London alone. And when I say 'I', I mean my parents.

I sincerely believe this is how the city survives.
And how they funded the crown jewels.

Because, heaven's knows, I only saw one drinking fountain during the entire trip. And it wasn't even functional.

Also, on a side note, French maitre d's are rather rude after finding out that all you intend to drink during dinner is 'water with lemon'.

Which leads me to believe that the United Kingdom has now replaced water with alcohol as the most acceptable form of hydration.

So, there it is. My list.
Random? Yes. Rambling? Yes. Redundant? Possibly.

Containing at least one reference to bacon?
Always.