100th Post!

Can you all believe I've bothered you for the 100th time now!??
It seems like only yesterday that I wrote my first post. *sniffle*

Maybe I should do a giveaway to celebrate?...
That seems like a popular way to reach a new level of annoying-ness, right?

Oooh! Oooh! I know!
I could offer my free services to anyone who needs help with anything!

Wait... I already do that...

Shucks. And I was all excited and all.

I guess your just gonna have to live knowing that I will fix your daughter's dress, babysit your kids, sew your ill-fitting swimsuit, edit your newly drafted resume, sing at your son's baptism, take care of the party arrangements, make dinner, clean the kitchen, give you directions, make the Relief Society announcement, decorate the living room, rub your back, dust your house, design a brochure, change that poopy diaper, etc., etc., etc.

All for free and without any need for celebration.

Did I ever mention why my blog is named Corinner-Elly?...
Never mind.

You wouldn't understand.

What I'm confused about is why my parents keep telling me that 'I've changed' and that 'I'm not the same sweet Corin I used to be'.

WTFrick?...

Last time I checked, I was?

Does this have to do with the fact that I only come home on Sundays now instead of jumping at every possible chance to run home to mommy that I possibly can?

But probably my favorite chiding came during a Sunday dinner when one of my siblings voiced, "Serving yourself before the children?? What's happened to you?..."

This was the point when I turned around, visually scanned the room to verify that all of the children were either old enough to serve themselves or had, indeed, already been served before giving my response.

"Yup. It's a crime."

Is it just me, or is telling a person they're in a bad mood a great way to put them in a bad mood?...

So there you have it.
I went from loving Corinner-Elly to a person who never smiles, never laughs and goes out of her way to kick puppies.

So shoot me.

Excusez-Moi?...

I've been home from England for a good chunk now but only recently realized that I hadn't posted the list of things I noticed/learned while abroad that I had been saving in my phone's notes.

I've also been given a stern rebuke by a distant sister who wants more blog posts. Now. Dang it.

So here's the gist. I'll keep it short and sweet.
Or long and exhaustive. I can't quite decide which.

Regardless, I'm at work and I have nothing else to do.
Ah hem.

What Corinner-Elly Noticed/Learned in Europe:

1. An airplane is like a cocoon.

It really is. Think about it. You climb inside, all nestled and safe and you're not allowed out until the proper time.

And when you emerge, you're a beautifully radiant butterfly...

Okay, that may be a bit of an overstatement... Considering I look like I've been hibernating for the winter/been run over by a truck when I step off a plane.

Actually, aren't cocoons made out of caterpillar spit and/or vomit?... This could also be applicable because, during plane rides, I tend to think a lot about the two and whole-heartily pray that I might be spared from both.

Now that I think about it, planes really aren't like cocoons.
They're more like death traps. (Never, ever watch Final Destination...)

2. Drivers are bad everywhere.

I've ranted before about how people are biased against Utah drivers, but I'm here to tell you (as a seasoned world traveler) that, regardless of where you are, there will be insanity on the highway.

Throw in a plethora of round-abouts and you're up for a veritable smorgasbord of 'close-calls'.

I've driven with lead foots, road ragers, grannies, tailgaters, speed demons and brake slammers. All, unpleasant in-and-of themselves.

But put them on an narrow, winding road in the English countryside and you've got a recipe for disaster. I'm not even joking when I say that I almost died and my nephew very nearly got run over by a bus...

So just remember:
life isn't fair, bacon is delicious and drivers are bad.

3. I hate border checks.

I'm sure you all remember my trip to Scotland?... It's a repressed memory that I hesitate to bring up. But when I related my unhappy encounter with the airport security officials who were determined to send me over the edge on an already horrible day, I was only scraping the surface of the issue.

Namely, airports suck. Bad.

I think I spent more time waiting in line at customs than I actually did in Britain! (Okay, this is an exaggeration, but I feel strongly on the topic, alright?)

All I'm saying is that little stamp in my passport is NOT worth my sanity. End of story.

4. Warm water impossible?...

So I get to England, go to wash my hands and notice something peculiar... There are two faucets, one on each side of the sink. One is red, one is blue.

I go for blue, thinking it to be a good choice right?
Blue is nice. I like blue.

Freezing. Cold.

How 'bout red? Can't hurt to try.

Scalding, burning, painfully hot.

So how, may you ask, did I get warm water?
I didn't.

Because, no matter how hard I tried, I could not combine the polar opposites in my hands and splash them onto my face quickly enough.

So I decided to call a truce and never wash at all.
Still on strike as we speak...

5. You never miss a drinking fountain until you don't have one.

I spent approximately $1,000,000.00 on water bottles in London alone. And when I say 'I', I mean my parents.

I sincerely believe this is how the city survives.
And how they funded the crown jewels.

Because, heaven's knows, I only saw one drinking fountain during the entire trip. And it wasn't even functional.

Also, on a side note, French maitre d's are rather rude after finding out that all you intend to drink during dinner is 'water with lemon'.

Which leads me to believe that the United Kingdom has now replaced water with alcohol as the most acceptable form of hydration.

So, there it is. My list.
Random? Yes. Rambling? Yes. Redundant? Possibly.

Containing at least one reference to bacon?
Always.

CURSES.

What you must know:
A) I made this scrumptious dinner.
B) No really, I MADE this scrumptious dinner.

C) I couldn't figure out how to make the freakin' picture upright.
D) Pounding chicken breasts is therapeutic.
E) I may or may not have taken a bite of yummy-licious cheese toast before I remembered to take a picture.
F) There were no cricket legs in my milk, thank heaven.
G) Chicken Parmigiana is the bestest.
H) Chicken Parmigiana the size of Texas is even bestest-er.
I) Green beans add the perfect splash of color.
J) I plan on rambling until I reach the end of the alphabet.
K) Did you know 'parmigiana' is spelt like that?...
L) I tried 'parmesana' and Blogger got mad at me.
M) Look at you.
O) Look at your face.
P) Frick. I forgot N.
Q) P.S. The pasta was freeze dried cheese-filled tortellini.
R) I don't recommend freeze dried cheese-filled tortellini.
S) Did I mention I made this?
T) I drooling on my keyboard just looking at it.
U) And the sauce was HOMEMADE!
V) I amaze myself.
W) Daily.
X) Almost there.
Y) Hold your breath...
Z) Mmmmmm.


Now I know my A-B-Cs.
Next time you should eat my Chicken Parmigiana.
(It almost rhymes?...)