Wedding Gag Reel.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but our wedding photographer was my amazing sister Ann of Wonder If Photography. I couldn't be more proud of her or her extremely talented work. She did everything I asked and more.

That being said, when I received the CD of her photo edits, I was confused to realize there wasn't a single imperfect picture. Not a half-blink, mouth agape, photo bomb, nothin'.

And knowing my family (not to mention, my husband), the possibility of not capturing one of these over the course of an entire day was next to impossible.

So I sneakily browsed through her backup file of pre-edited pictures and came across these gems. She agreed to let me have them upon condition that I let her edit them and immediately delete all other copies.

Done deal. I wasn't complainin'.

And then in one of my frequent moments of genius, I decided to add a few word bubble embellishments to really capture the memories of the day.

I've added them all here to prevent giving my perfectionist sister photographer any more grief and to allow my Facebook album of her work to remain pure.

Hopefully it will make for one very long but entertaining post.

Enjoy. (Click on the image for a close up.)

You're welcome.

Takes the Cake.

Lately, I've found myself reminiscing about my wedding day. You know, going over the details, trying to capture every last memory so as not to forget.

My mind will wander from my beautiful dress to my bangin' heels to my perfect hair and makeup to my wonderland reception. And inevitably will come to a screeching halt at my wedding cake.

You know, I had the best intentions when it came to that bad boy.

He was going to be the best darn cake that ever lived. Zebra insides and pearl outsides. I fully intended to hire a professional.

But after unsuccessful attempts to secure a cake maker, I came to one conclusion: I was too cheap and too un-trusting to go the traditional route. There was only one thing to do: make it myself.

And that is precisely when I should have re-evaluated my priorities.

Fast-forward two weeks, and you'll find me covered in batter at 2 AM, baking the middle section for the second time. Why? Oh, because at 1 AM my sleep deprived mind forgot to grease and flour the cake pans after throwing out the first batch at 12 AM when I realized that the top was setting much faster than the bottom causing an impending crater.

It was shortly thereafter that I realized that my twenty minute online tutorial about wedding cake baking was probably an insufficient education on a very tricky subject. But what was there to do?.. The wedding was in two days and my bank account had cobwebs.

So I did what any logical woman does in the heat of the moment.

Cursed a little, threw the P.O.S.es in the freezer and went to bed.

You see, here's what I had envisioned.

Inspiration:

Which somehow translated to this.
Execution:

Yep. Nailed it...

Whose idea was it to make my own wedding cake anyway!??
I mean, come on. Even immediately after making the finishing touches and before setting it in the hot sun, it looked like a piece of crap.

See that bulging section?.. That's no tumor.
That's baking pride slowly sliding off my ego and into oblivion.

My one consolation is that the top tier (currently frozen in my parents' freezer in preparation for one-year anniversary traditions) was the prettiest.
Comparatively, that is.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the rest of it after I sped away from the reception. But that gets me thinking about the whole cake fiasco again and I have to tell myself to ponder on happier things. Like babies. And bacon.

In my defense, the inside did look pretty cool.
But that was where the semi-amazingness stopped.

And to top it all off, I was shamelessly badgered when I refused to stuff it up my husband's nose. He asked me not to do it, people! Believe me, I was torn!

But at the end of the day, I just have to remember that I can't 'have my cake and eat it too'. Given the choice, I'd rather have had a crappy cake than no cake at all. And when it really comes down to it, I'd rather have a good story to tell than a $300 piece of dessert.

Just goes to show that you get what you pay for.
And I am a very cheap bride.

Forever After.

Well, it's back to the old grind.
The wedding was perfect and the honeymoon was blissful.

That is.. minus the cake slowly melting in the sun and being chased by a buffalo through a small town in Montana. Practically.

Okay, okay. So the buffalo wasn't technically charging us, per say, but he was being corralled a block away by a troop of police cars. That was pretty sweet. The HUSBAND (weird!!!) got footage on that amazing phone of his.

But I'm not lying about the cake.
It really did have issues.

That and I forgot to tell someone to fill the Mason jars in the centerpieces with water so that the special 'floating' candles I spent extra money on would actually be visible.

Or the glass frame I shattered in my hurry to get everything ready for the reception.

Or the guest calendar that no one had any idea what to do with because I forgot to print some instructions and my nieces who were equipped with the needed information are easily distracted.

Or the guests who had to wait for a table to be vacated due to the number of people who attended. I was shocked that we had so many!

Or that my niece promptly burst into tears when her tiny 4-year-old self didn't catch the cash bouquet. Actually, that was pretty darn adorable. Don't worry, I soothed her tears with the promise of a special McDonald's trip in the future.

But that doesn't mean that they didn't start up again as soon as I stepped towards our get-away vehicle. I found myself instantly surrounding by a hoard of children hugging every visible body part. The smallest of which were wrapped tightly around my knees.

It was the best present I could have ever wished for.

Oh, but I should probably mention the $50 worth of disposable cameras that were left exposed to the sprinkler system for several days. That was lovely.

Developing those bad boys should be interesting.

And I forgot about the video not working at the luncheon, it being a kind of integral part of the program. Let's just say we were having a few technical difficulties. Namely, I'm a dunce and didn't realize that not everyone has movie maker on their computer.

That being said, I really shouldn't be complaining.
The weather was beautiful and there wasn't a mosquito in sight.

I was able to marry the man of my dreams and be surrounded by the people I love. I savored every minute of it.

Sometimes, I hear people say that they wish that they could have a do-over. That they wish they could experience it all again. And perhaps do things a little differently.

But as we drove away, the sparklers and shouts fading in the distance, we both smiled at each other perfectly contented. It really was a wonderful day.

We wouldn't change a thing. And we don't want a re-do.
We are going to have a forever's worth of wonderful days.

And droopy zebra cake really pales in comparison to eternity.