One Lucky Dog.

Last summer, I blogged about my determination to find the perfect man-dime.
I didn't realize at the time that he was right under my nose.

It was only after several people mentioned how 'great we'd be together' or commented that we 'should definitely date' that I even entertained the idea of pursuing him.

And it wasn't until a late night 7-Eleven run with my BFF Lacy-Hacy when she forcefully declared that I needed to 'forget what everyone else wanted' and 'think about myself for a change' that I finally made my decision.

He needed to be MY very own man-dime.

The man-dime in question was oblivious to my decision at the time, but after many hints and repeated suggestion, he finally got the idea. And believe it or not, though married 10 months later, he still took his good sweet time makin' a move(s).

So last weekend when we discovered, to my horror, that the foot-long corndogs at the state fair were a whopping $7 a pop, and I had to logically forgo the delight, he knew I was understandably bummed.

But my man-dime made up for the loss when he purchased me a replacement foot-long corndog from the Provo hospital cafeteria a few days later for a $2.50 steal of a deal.

This is what true love is people.
I know, because that is only the tip of the iceberg.

My man-dime proves his worth everyday.
How, you might ask? Observe.

How to know you married a gentleman:
1) He gets honestly upset if you try to open your own door.
2) He is courteous about bodily noises.
3) He puts down the toilet seat (and lid, I might add).
4) He follows your OCD rules about leaving clothes on the floor.
5) He loves a sharp looking three-piece suit.
6) He always says 'please' and 'thank you'.
7) He refers to you as 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous'.
8) He insists on knowing your opinion before making a decision.
9) He lets you take the better half of anything you split.
10) When you suggest doing something fun, he responds with, "But I haven't finished the dishes yet.."
11) He goes all the way down three flights of stairs to change the laundry and then folds it all on his own when your sister happens to call and chat.
12) He texts you sweet messages out of the blue practically every day.
13) He puts hot sauce on his food so that you don't burn your taste buds off in an effort to appease his iron stomach.
14) He spoons on command even though you are both human heaters and no amount of A/C pointed directly at his face would make a difference.
15) He remembers how you like the pillows placed and occasionally makes the bed without being asked.
16) He says the prayer every morning after you roll out of bed because he knows you're too sleepy to mutter anything coherent.
17) He doesn't complain when you keep reorganizing his things.
18) He tries to act interested when you turn into a baby-hungry pile of mush.
19) He gets you a blanket when your feet are cold.
20) He doesn't mind when you post lists like this. (Too much.)

That last one especially.
That's how you know you've really got a 'weinner'.
(Hehe. Inside joke. And also, I couldn't resist.)

Before I Kick the Bucket.

I was organizing my Hotmail inbox today (Yes, email organization can and SHOULD be a top priority. 10,000 undeleted emails in your junk folder is unacceptable people.) and came across a bucket list draft that I created a year ago tomorrow.

Funny how things resurface like that.

And also spooky..

Needless to say, I was surprised at how many I'd accomplished in such a short period of time. And because I want to remember what  I've done and also keep track of what I want to do in the future, I'm going to post the entire thing. That way, you can hold me to my word.

And also mock me for the silly things I consider meaningful.

So here it is, my life's ambition.

Or at least part of it.

Aside from my newest goal: to spend an entire day in my pajamas locked up in my apartment watching old musicals and eating take-out.

#1 Visit an honest-to-goodness ghost town.

Okay, so I've 'kind of' done this, because I've been to Grafton, UT which is actually pretty legit. My nephew ate some of the dirt at the cemetery which probably explains a lot about the kid, but I digress. The point is, I want to visit some more. Like a lot more.

#2 Go to Lagoon.

Up until this summer, I had never been to Lagoon. I know, I know. You can stop gaping now. I was a homebody who felt ill at the thought of traveling more than twenty miles away from her mother all throughout high school and a portion of college, okay!? Just know that I've been. And LOVED it.

#3 Skydive?...

The delusional Corinner-Elly must have written this in a moment of extreme craziness, but alas. What's typed is typed. Sounds like a great idea considering how much I love being airsick and heights...

#4 See Paris.

I came SO CLOSE to crossing this one off the list. It's still kind of a sore spot. I go all the way to Europe for an entire month and miss out on the one place I really wanted to see. Mark my words, this will happen. Someday.

#5 Visit famous corndog stands.

I knew you were waiting for a reference to either corndogs or bacon. Well here it is. Let it be known that I am addicted to them. So much so, that last night during our pillow talk, I told the husband, "If my love were a corndog, it would be a foot-long." Judge me if you will.

#6 Learn to play the piano again.

Don't tell my mother, but quitting piano lessons was a big mistake. And I regret it. Future children: don't give up no matter how much you hate counting!! And hiding behind the furniture when I call you to come practice will not work. I invented that trick.

#7 See an opera.

 What other chance will I have to wear my fancy opera-ish clothes?..

#8 Buy a new car.

As much as I love driving a vehicle that was brand new when I was four-years-old, I hope to eventually earn an upgrade. Please oh please make it soon.

#9 Try to water ski/wake board.

You see, I write this as I'm comfortably seated at my dry office chair, but when it comes down to it, being pulled behind a speeding watercraft in the hopes that I don't biff fantastically and skip across the frigid water like a skipping stone doesn't really appeal to me, per say.

#10 Shoot a rifle.

Completed!! Or at least, I think completed?.. All I know is that I shot a really loud, long gun thingy with the husband and his cousins one time. My real ambition should probably be 'learn how to decipher what a rifle is/looks like'.

#11 See New York.

I want to know if it's really like it is in the movies. Because I hear there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas and they all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before Christmas.

#12 Go on a cruise.

I hope (fingers crossed) to have this one completed in December. When planning our honeymoon, the husband said he'd rather take one in the winter months, when a getaway to warmer weather is more appreciated. So I'm holding him to his word.

#13 Get married :P.

What a fickle thing fate is. I fully expected this to be the LAST thing I checked off my list. And here I sit, married. For almost two months. Curiouser and curiouser.

#14 Have twins.

I don't care what you say, I do. Being a twin is the greatest thing ever. Second only, according to my mom, to having twins yourself. I've also convinced the husband that it wouldn't be so bad (Score!). He, however, draws the line at triplets. I then explained that it's actually up to him...

#15 Own a small business.

We're talking comparable to an Etsy shop here. Anything bigger takes a lot of initiative and personal motivation. Two things I had when deciding to graduate with an interior design emphasis. I've since realized that I'd rather not be the boss. For the most part.

#16 Hike a mountain.

Okay, someone must have really hacked my list, because this sounds like something I'd never say in a thousand-million-bajillion years. So stop trying to be a hero, self, because this ain't going to happen. At least not willingly.

#17 Eat something exotic.

Up until recently, I considered 'elk' to be exotic. But you'll be happy to hear that I've since expanded my tastes to baby octopuses and buffalo meat. Applaud now.

#18 Record a song.

I've always found it fascinating to contemplate whether or not singers actually know what they sound like to everyone else. Because the voice I hear inside my head is certainly not the same one I hear in video recordings. (Am I really that whiny?..)

#19 Sew a wedding dress.

Okay, so I chickened out on this one. But I did make my wedding cake?.. And we all know how well that turned out.

#20 Learn to drive a stick shift.

It's a dying art. And I just know someday I'll be in a situation where it will be required and I will be endlessly embarrassed.. Who's offering to be my instructor?

#21 Have a 'Chopped' competition.

The husband and I love that show. We're practically professional food critics by now. So one of these days, we're going to organize a massive group date where each couple is given three or four ingredients and told to create a tasty and original masterpiece. We're going to school the competition. 

#22 Spend an entire day at Epcot.

I've only been there once, and our time was hurried. But it was seriously amazing! I want to just meander from country to country and soak in every tiny detail. Tasting all the delicious food wouldn't be too bad either.

#23 Milk a cow.

I'm convinced that I'd get it my first try. It can't be that difficult, can it?

#24 Go on a motorcycle ride.

No, husband, this does NOT give you permission to purchase one. I'd rather be unfulfilled and alive than fulfilled and dead. (And technically I did ride my brother's bullet bike when I was like seven, so mission completed.)

#25 Have at least 100 blog followers.

Hint, hint. Spread the word.

#26 Use a bidet.

Call me crazy, but I'm extremely intrigued.

#27 Learn origami.

Or at least how to make a decent paper airplane.

#28 Pick blueberries.

Preferably in a sun dress with matching hat and basket. There should probably be a kitten pouncing around my feet as well. Why not include a little theatrics?..

#29 Be on TV.

This should be completed on September 11th with the DVD release of The Last Eagle Scout. I was an extra and it was epic. Meaning: it took freaking forever and we hardly did anything. But there was tasty food and silly boys for company. And also, production lasts a long time.

#30 Ride a horse carriage around Temple Square.

Don't judge. I know it's ridiculous and touristy, but it's been on every bucket list I've ever made since I was five. I know full and well, the moment I do, I'll wish I hadn't and spend the whole ride feeling silly, but the appeal is still there. For some strange reason.

#31 Dive head first off a cliff.

I saved this one for last. Because it is how I will die.

Probably.

That is, unless some other hairbrained idea I include in my ill-fated bucket list doesn't kill me off first.

Waiting in the Wings.

On the honeymoon, the husband and I ordered wings every chance we could get. Some were fantastically awesome, such as the piping hot buffalo wings at The Iron Horse Bar and Grill, while others were all-together lack-luster, such as those from the Wild West Pizzeria & Saloon in West Yellowstone.
(To be fair, the pizza was delicious.)

I teasingly joked that we should start a blog, documenting our chicken wing exploits. "We could call it.. 'Corinnay & Dannay: Just Wingin' It'.", I suggested. He smiled back at me with sticky lips.

What you should know is that I consider chicken wings to be the most delicious things on the whole dang planet. Given the choice, I could survive on chicken wings for the rest of my life. I mean, the possibilities are endless.
Saucy, crunchy, spicy, sweet, you name it.

I never met a chicken wing I didn't like.
Expect for the drumsticks restaurants are continually trying to pass off as 'wings'. And it's not that I don't like them, I just consider it plain ole' dishonest.

Chicken wings are more dignified than that. When cooked properly, they come apart in neat little pieces, no bone gnawing necessary.

So you can imagine, when, last night at a family get-together I was shocked and appalled to see Gem dig under a pile of Nicoitalia's hot chicken wings (meaning drumsticks) to steal that last actual juicy wing.
I was appalled at her wing etiquette.

Everyone knows that you take whatever's at the top of the food pile.
Or at least they should.

I will compile a list of chicken wing rules, just to be safe.
*ah hem*
1) Always take the piece on top of the pile. No one likes a picky wing eater.
2) Demand ranch for dipping at all costs. Blue cheese will not do.
3) Eat every tasty morsel off the bone. A chicken gave it's life for you.
Don't demean that sacrifice.
4) Always choose a crispy wing over a soggy wing. It's just common sense.
5) Do not lick your sister's last wing. You will immediately become dead to her.
6) Filling up her water bottle will not restore your sisterhood. It will simply promote you from 'spawn of Satan' to 'person' status.
7) Never leave a wing un-eaten. It's just plain wasteful. African children would be very upset.
8) Don't discriminate against un-sauced wings. In Corinner-Elly's eyes, all wings are created equal.
9) Do not remove the skin. It's the best part and.. are you crazy??
10) Partake of wings every chance you get. And I mean EVERY chance.

I wasn't going to name the 'wing licker', but for the safety of wing eaters everywhere, I shall. It was Gem. Also known as G-ster.

And no amount of flailing/swatting/holding the precious piece as far away from her as I possibly could with one arm while fending her off with the opposite foot could keep the dastardly deed from taking place.

Her status in relation to me is still pending.

"I Do" & Something Blue.

Only three days left, people. THREE. DAYS.
My parents' house has been invaded by two out-of-state sisters and their combined eight children. Needless to say, craziness abounds.

But it's my favorite kind of craziness.

I watched yesterday as my nephews woke up Gem by using a small toy ball-popper to blow air in her face while simultaneously tickling her feet.
It was precious.

I mean, I am in no sense of the word a morning person, but I can't think of a better way to wake up than by being ambushed by two giggling youngsters.

Typically, getting ready for the day is a monotonous task. But today, before I had even showered, I had convinced my 4-year-old niece that the blue whitening strips I had applied to my teeth immediately after waking up were actually my real teeth, which inexplainably turned blue every morning. She nodded back, entranced and wide-eyed.

Moments like this are my favorite.
I love hearing little voices everywhere I go.

However, I do not love answering the same questions surrounding the wedding over and over. Therefore, to save time and sanity, I will give you a quick run-down. And hopeful dispell future repetative redundancy.

My name is Corin Haymore.
I am marrying my fiance, Daniel E. Nay, on June 30th at 11 AM.
The 'E' stands for Elonzo. (Not to be confused with 'Alfonso'. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.)
The sealing will take place in the Mount Timpanogos Temple.
I am NOT nervous. Just excited.
Contrary to my niece's belief, babies are not included. Yet.
Immediately following the ceremony, there will be pictures.
All you need to do is stand and look pretty. Smiling is preferrable.
Yes I know it is June. Yes I know it's hot.
It'll be fast, I promise.
Just count your blessings that you won't be wearing a heavy, corsetted dress.
Beautiful, mind you, but restricting.
Stop worrying about posing and rules and schedules. Everything will work out.
Then there will be a luncheon.
It will be in a chapel.
You will be provided directions.
Stop hyperventilating.
Once you're full and satisfied, you can disappear. For approximately 4 hours.
In the meantime, we will be taking bridals & groomals. (Yes, it's a word.)
And making sure that everything is ready for the reception.
I may try to fit in a short nap, but I'm guessing it's unlikely.
The fiance has other ideas on how to use the time..
Don't read into that.
At six sharp, family photos will be taken at the reception site.
As well as other clever arrangements. Thank you Pinterest.
Then you will all come and see me!! Hopefully.
A pleasant assortment of refreshments will be served.
And peacock feathers will abound.
You'll know you're there when you see the Italian lights.
Once again, I realize it's June.
And that it get dark much later.
Thank you for enlightening me for the um-teenth time. (Pun intended.)
They will still look amazing.
I will only be standing in line from 7-8.
Any longer and I will die. Plus, I refuse.
Make sure to sign the guest calender and take a picture of something.
Spell out a Scrabble tile message.
Kiss a baby.
The whole she-bang.
Feel free to stay and eat zebra cake. I don't want leftovers.
(No seriously. I'll have put my blood, sweat and tears into that thing.)

Perhaps even catch a cash bouquet?..
And send us off in a blaze of glory. Or something like that.
We will be spending the first night at the Anniversary Inn in Salt Lake.
In the Sultan's Palace.
The bed is on the back of two elephants. It's legit.
After that, we'll roadtrip through Jackson Hole and Yellowstone.
Staying in hotels, every night.
You really think I'd spend my honeymoon in a tent?..
I mean really, people.
We even get to meet up with the fiance's missionary brother.
And take him to dinner and a rodeo in Red Lodge.
Actually, he'll be 'the husband' by then. But you know what I mean.
I'm excited.
And the rest is history.

Or at least it will be.
Once the present is over and the future is behind us. Confusing much?

Just pray that I don't lose my sanity before then.
Or wake up with blue teeth.

And that people don't suck the very life from my body with a barrage of useless questions and miniscule/unimportant wedding details.
But mostly the blue teeth thing.

Normally, Crazy-Interesting.

There are about five-million times each day when I'm reading some witty quote on Pinterest and think to myself, "That is so totally me!"

So after thinking that the five-millionth time, I decided it was about time I compiled a list. Don't cha think?

And so, without further ado,

25 things you should know about Corinner-Elly:

1) I adore spontaneity, providing it is carefully planned.
2) I'm a recovering people pleaser. (Is that okay?...)
3) My fear is that PMS doesn't exist and this is my real personality.
4) When I say I won't tell anyone, my best friend doesn't count.
5) I eat my feelings and they taste delicious.
6) Sometimes, the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
7) I may look calm, but in my head I've killed you three times.
8) If eye-rolling burned calories, I'd be anorexic.
9) I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
10) When I'm feeling sick, I Google my symptoms and usually find out I have cancer.
11) My only professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer screen other than me.
12) When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left a million dollars under the..."
13) I hate it when I'm drinking and the ice just attacks my face.
14) I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
15) I do many things well, none of which generate income.
16) If I ever had to run for my life, I'd probably die.
17) I hate it when I don't forward a chain letter, and I die the next day.
18) I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation.
19) I hate it when crumbs fall in my cleavage. Sometimes, my boobs eat more than I do.
20) If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries.
21) I'm sarcastic and have a smart a** attitude. It's a natural defense against drama, bull crap and stupidity.
22) I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order, like they should be.
23) I don't need to flirt. I seduce people with my awkwardness.
24) I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious.
25) I'm still haunted by the things I did for a Klondike Bar.

So there it is. Me in a nutshell.
Don't judge.

According to my niece, Allie, people fall into one of three categories: normal, interesting or crazy. And the way I see it, there is only one possible choice when describing me.

And we all know what that is, right?...

Summer Lovin', Had Me a Blast

As of last Friday, it is officially Fall.

I have mixed feelings about this.

Because as much as I love the changing of the seasons, my summer was so amazingly fantastic that I don't want it to end.

This is documented by my two Facebook photo albums containing over 300+ pictures of my adventures. You can thank me now for refraining from posting them all here.

It was also evidenced by 'da twinneh's' "I hate you and all of your summer fun." comment.

I can't help it that I was unemployment and carefree or that she slaved away day-after-day for the majority of the time...

But do you know what's not fun?
Writing, yet another, entire blog post (complete with a list of 35 fun things I did this summer) and then realizing none of it saved due to some strange act of the Blogger Gods.

So, suffice it to say, between touring Europe for a month, spending a week in a $10,000,000+ beach house in San Diego, horse riding, rodeing, camping, eating, cliff jumping, star gazing, going to Disneyland, carrying out an ongoing prank war, living with some of my most favorite people in the world, country dancing, karaoke-ing and living it up college-style, I am plum-stuffed full of of summery fun.

I did everything I wanted to do and then some.

I even accomplished a goal I highly doubted the likelihood of.

Let's just say it's been a productive summer.

And Corinner-Elly may have finally gotten her fairytale.

You Know You're a Haymore If...

As of late, I've been getting certain crap from a certain friend (who shall remain unnamed for the time being) regarding whether or not Lake Shore is a legit town.

I hold that if a community is large enough and organized enough to hold a 'community days' each year, then they are definitely fo realz.

He claims that because you don't technically put 'Lake Shore' on the envelope, it's really more of a pretend area of Spanish Fork.

Ruuuuuude.

In addition, when I was in London, whenever we'd take the train out of Chelmsford into the city, we'd have to walk through a small hobbit tunnel, as I liked to call it.

It was probably only six feet in diameter (at most) which made it a good topic of conversation as to who would fit and who wouldn't. Naturally, my sister's six-foot-six husband was vetoed.

Both of these scenarios lead me to begin contemplating the strange facets of human experience that make my family my family. And thus, my You Know You're a Haymore If... list was born.

Prepare yourself. This one's a doozy.

1. You know where Lake Shore, Utah is.
2. You measure everything by asking, "Would Drew fit?"
3. You think you're always right.
4. You think everyone else should always think you're right.
5. The first thing you mention when you introduce someone new is the word 'Kyle'.
6. Your favorite past time is judging/mocking others.
7. You are mildly insulted by #6.
8. You shiver at the very mention of 'chutnanya'.
9. You've had poop thrown at you while riding a miniature train.
10. You know what a 'chester drawers' is.
11. Your mom makes the best homemade bread in the world.
12. You have more brothers and sisters than you do close friends.
13. Your brother is commonly mistaken for Brad Pitt.
14. You think the difference between an ostrich and an emu is the way their knees bend.
15. You believe everything your dad has ever said. (See #14.)
16. You ever asked if it was 'porch time' as a child.
17. You are extremely talented.
18. You are amazingly good looking.
19. You are the humblest person you know.
20. You agree with everything on this list.

I can only think of 20 presently, but I'm sure the list will grow.
After all, I am a Haymore. Which is awesome.

If you have any doubts, please refer to the above list.
#18 especially.

Excusez-Moi?...

I've been home from England for a good chunk now but only recently realized that I hadn't posted the list of things I noticed/learned while abroad that I had been saving in my phone's notes.

I've also been given a stern rebuke by a distant sister who wants more blog posts. Now. Dang it.

So here's the gist. I'll keep it short and sweet.
Or long and exhaustive. I can't quite decide which.

Regardless, I'm at work and I have nothing else to do.
Ah hem.

What Corinner-Elly Noticed/Learned in Europe:

1. An airplane is like a cocoon.

It really is. Think about it. You climb inside, all nestled and safe and you're not allowed out until the proper time.

And when you emerge, you're a beautifully radiant butterfly...

Okay, that may be a bit of an overstatement... Considering I look like I've been hibernating for the winter/been run over by a truck when I step off a plane.

Actually, aren't cocoons made out of caterpillar spit and/or vomit?... This could also be applicable because, during plane rides, I tend to think a lot about the two and whole-heartily pray that I might be spared from both.

Now that I think about it, planes really aren't like cocoons.
They're more like death traps. (Never, ever watch Final Destination...)

2. Drivers are bad everywhere.

I've ranted before about how people are biased against Utah drivers, but I'm here to tell you (as a seasoned world traveler) that, regardless of where you are, there will be insanity on the highway.

Throw in a plethora of round-abouts and you're up for a veritable smorgasbord of 'close-calls'.

I've driven with lead foots, road ragers, grannies, tailgaters, speed demons and brake slammers. All, unpleasant in-and-of themselves.

But put them on an narrow, winding road in the English countryside and you've got a recipe for disaster. I'm not even joking when I say that I almost died and my nephew very nearly got run over by a bus...

So just remember:
life isn't fair, bacon is delicious and drivers are bad.

3. I hate border checks.

I'm sure you all remember my trip to Scotland?... It's a repressed memory that I hesitate to bring up. But when I related my unhappy encounter with the airport security officials who were determined to send me over the edge on an already horrible day, I was only scraping the surface of the issue.

Namely, airports suck. Bad.

I think I spent more time waiting in line at customs than I actually did in Britain! (Okay, this is an exaggeration, but I feel strongly on the topic, alright?)

All I'm saying is that little stamp in my passport is NOT worth my sanity. End of story.

4. Warm water impossible?...

So I get to England, go to wash my hands and notice something peculiar... There are two faucets, one on each side of the sink. One is red, one is blue.

I go for blue, thinking it to be a good choice right?
Blue is nice. I like blue.

Freezing. Cold.

How 'bout red? Can't hurt to try.

Scalding, burning, painfully hot.

So how, may you ask, did I get warm water?
I didn't.

Because, no matter how hard I tried, I could not combine the polar opposites in my hands and splash them onto my face quickly enough.

So I decided to call a truce and never wash at all.
Still on strike as we speak...

5. You never miss a drinking fountain until you don't have one.

I spent approximately $1,000,000.00 on water bottles in London alone. And when I say 'I', I mean my parents.

I sincerely believe this is how the city survives.
And how they funded the crown jewels.

Because, heaven's knows, I only saw one drinking fountain during the entire trip. And it wasn't even functional.

Also, on a side note, French maitre d's are rather rude after finding out that all you intend to drink during dinner is 'water with lemon'.

Which leads me to believe that the United Kingdom has now replaced water with alcohol as the most acceptable form of hydration.

So, there it is. My list.
Random? Yes. Rambling? Yes. Redundant? Possibly.

Containing at least one reference to bacon?
Always.