She goes around in circles 'til she's very, very dizzy.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Wonder If?

Wonder if you died tomorrow?

Notice how I put 'wonder if' instead of 'what if'.
This discrepancy is the source of much serious debate in my family. Us cool people think it should be 'wonder' while the bozos on the opposing side favor 'what'.

Here's my question: Why would you want to succumb to mere custom when you can live in a world of wonder and amazement? Who cares about formality anyways? Grammar-shmammar.
(I can't believe I just said that...)

But back to the issue at hand. Obituaries.

Who died (no pun intended) and made it mandatory that obituaries must be sappy and boring? I mean come on. For example:

"On Tuesday, our sweet little angel flew back to her heavenly home after many years of struggling valiantly in a little body that just couldn't take anymore..."

*gag me*

Why can't we just hear HOW the person died? They're dead. Dead, dead, dead. Am I right my friend? Tell it how it is and if 'it's' lame, make up something totally wicked! See HERE.

Then, if you REALLY want to be the coolest person ever, include a random photo that has absolutely nothing to do with your life.
I will love you forever.

So get a pen & paper and start the first draft of your obituary today. Right now. Promise me. PROMISE!

In further news.
I 'worked' again at work today.

I know. I'm on a roll.

The 'ice-cream in a bag' activity had an excellent turn out, thanks for asking. The office is also now beautifully decorated once more.


Aren't they beautiful?...


Call me the 'super-awesome-amazingly-talented, not to mention strikingly-gorgeous' bulletin board decorator! Oh, and feel free to use said title in my obituary someday.

Seriously.

5 comments:

Ann said...

I am very much with you on the "wonder" part (even if you did call my husband and Olivia a "bozo"), but I had this uncomfortable feeling that I should cross myself or put up a lightening rod or something when I read the rest of your post. How can you mock that poor little girls obituary?

Ann said...

Olivia says "HaHa"

Corinner-Elly said...

Well... considering the 'poor little girl' was completely fictional, I had no qualms with mocking her. :P

But then again... that is how 90 percent of the newspaper obituaries are so, scratch that.

I'm openly mocking.
There is no shame in this. :D

And if I'm struck by lightning, hey. You can write my obituary!!

Shauna said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. What more is there to say!

Julie Rae said...

I have to chime in that funerals should also be more exciting. I keep telling Brian that I want Chinese funeral rights. Why? Because everyone wears white, they light beautiful lamps and float them on lakes, they CELEBRATE the LIFE of the deceased, and best of all, there are FIREWORKS!! Brian insists that it's a bad idea. He's probably right. Can you imagine what would happen if you got all those Simmons' boys together near a casket and gave them fireworks. Picture it, I dare ya!

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