And Yet, Some More...

The Ever Evolving List of Corinner-Elly's Pet Peeves, Part III.

It just gets longer and longer, dudn' it?
Oh well.

#21- 'Poor Picked Ons'.

Believe me. We've all been there.
But consistently? Every second of the day, every minute of the week and every hour of the year? No. Not so much.

Nothing is as pitiful as someone who consistently reminds those around them that they're not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough and never appreciated enough.

Instead of letting us know all day, everyday how nobody likes you, everybody hates you and you're just gonna eat worms, why not just head out back and start.

In fact, I'll eat worms if you'll just cease and desist.

#22- 'Poor Picked On' Facebook Rants

Let's just clear something up here and now.

It may be 'your' Facebook page to do whatever 'you' would like with it, but WE are the ones who read it and have the FULL right and responsibility to mock your drama-filled status updates.

So get over it.

#23- Wads of Hair.

I'm gonna have to make direct mention of my next oldest sister, Katerina Cupcake.

Without fail, to be next in the line up after that girl's shower time guaranteed that you'd be forced to stare at clumps of dark curly hair stuck all over the shower walls.

Believe me, it was not pleasant.

However, I've come to realize that this is a widespread phenomenon. Everywhere I look, there seem to be a various assortment of hairballs all determined to undermine my efforts at cleanliness.

But, ya know.
Sometimes I miss my older sister's wads of hair.

No, wait. Who am I kiddin'.
I just miss her.

#24- Gobs of Toothpaste.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EW.
Come on now. Just wash it down the drain.

Or better yet, practice your aim.
From tube to toothbrush or toothbrush to mouth, doesn't matter.

Just get er' done.

#25- Canker Sores.

Curse you too much pineapple and Crest toothpaste.

#26- Disappointers

I've decided that disappointment is the worst feeling in the whole wide world. Don't you agree?

You just can't feel any more terrible than when you've been let down by something or someone you love.

*tear*

#27- Paranoid Drivers.

So... I'm thinkin' that your over analysis of every slight movement, flicker or noise is more of a hazard to other drivers then getting behind the wheel blindfolded.

Not to mention that it makes me carsick.

#28- Speed Bumps.

Ah, those little mounds of Hell.

I'd rather pull off all of my fingernails, one by one, with a pair of rusty pliers than go through a line-up of them.

#29- Swearing.

Is it really necessary?
(Please note that the above mention of 'Hell' was in reference to the place not the profane.)

Isn't it just as easy to say 'aw, pickles' and get on with it?

However, I do reserve the right to sing 'Gives you Hell' by The All-American Rejects. My friends hate it because he sounds too 'happy' to be swearing but I think that's what makes it just so perfectly naughty.

If it makes you feel any better, I'll replace some of the 'damn's with 'dang'. But also be prepared for when it comes on the radio because, I may just crank it up and sing/vent along.

It is my one guilty pleasure.

#30- Indian Givers in Reverse.

You know what an Indian Giver is, right?
(No offense to the Native Americans.)

Well, what I'm talkin' 'bout is kinda similar... but not.

What I'm talkin' 'bout is someone who throws the wrapper, from the piece of gum you just self-lessly shared with them, back at your un-suspecting head. It then falls down your shirt, destined to be hopelessly lost and irritating, to places where you'd never be able to retrieve in civilzed society.

So...
The moral of my story:

While going over speedbumps, don't complain about how horrible your life is with canker sores in a room full of hairballs while swearing about the toothpaste blobs an Indian Giver in reverse left to disappoint a paranoid driver. On Facebook.

'Yup. That about sums it up.