The very bane of my existence.
I demand perfection, dang it!
#32- Rumble Strips.
Did you know that's what they're called?
Huh. Learn something new everyday.
Kind of like 'Oh, Crap!' bars.
Did you know that's what they're called?
Ya know, those little handles on the ceiling of your car?
But the point is:
Never knew what to call em', always knew they were irritating.
#33- Oblivious/Incompetent People.
Try not to be confused.
When Facebook says, "Corin Haymore is revelling in the amount of incompetency some people display." do not interpret this to mean, "Corin Haymore is revelling in the amount of incontinency some people display."
Not the same thing people. Not the same thing.
Regardless, both must be avoided.
#34- Freeway Construction.
It's here, it's there, it's everywhere!
Plus, it brings out the bad driver in me
(and everyone else for that matter.)
And so, I would like to take this time to formally apologize to Gem and 'Da Twinneh', who I almost killed. By accident.
That light hasn't been there very long. Okay!
P.S. You guys should probably work on your frantic screaming. Just for future reference in case I ever decide to run another red light. Call me Rebel.
#35- Soggy Sandwiches.
Bread should not be soggy.
The very words themselves are oxymorons.
Someone should explain this to my dad.
He insists that shredding bread into a glass full of milk is delicious. Then again, he also eats peanut butter and lettuce sandwiches.
Ok. Nevermind. He's too far gone.
#36- Blamers.
I hate it when people don't take credit for their bad habits.
Stop claiming it's not your fault that you were pulled over because you didn't see the sign. Quit justifying that you can keep your house clean because your husband is really the messy one. Don't push your problems off on others because you're too insecure to just own up to it.
Blaming your height, parents, intellect, (I DON'T CARE WHAT!) is just plain ridiculous.
Take responsibility. Own up. Grow up.
Period.
#37- Hypocrites.
I feel like I may have already covered this at some point or another? But it's important so... listen up!
Don't tattletale on someone with a goldfish the day you bring home a puppy. Don't report a neighbor's weapon when you have an unsecured handgun lying around. Don't bemoan how horribly people drive as you walk in with a ticket. Don't self-righteously promote procedures that you aren't following yourself.
#38- Irritation.
I hate it.
I'll ask myself 'Why are you so irritated?'
And, wouldn't cha know, it irritates me.
#39- BSers.
You shouldn't talk if you don't know what you're talking about.
It's just that simple.
#40- Facebook Status Letters.
At one time, this was novel and entertaining. Even trendy I'd say.
Because, I have to admit, I laughed right out loud when someone invited me to join
'DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.'
But then, whad'did people have to go and do? Make it the most cliche and irritating online social practice ever invented.
I can't tell you how many times a day I see statuses addressed to 'Dear Sun' or 'Dear Bed' or 'Dear Walmart'. Therefore, I have a little something to say...
Dear Facebook Users,
Please stop writing status letters and making my life miserable. Thanks!
Love,
3 comments:
What if my house really IS dirty because of my husband.....? Can I be the exception because you've seen first hand?? :P
oh oh!!!..... me too! me too!
"He insists that shredding bread into a glass full of milk is delicious."
--My dad did that ALL the time, too. I never understood it. I'd try it now and again, just to see if maybe you just had to be older to think it was good. Nope. Never was.
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