Brush it Off.

In high school, I remember hearing someone rant about how they absolutely hated it when people brushed their teeth anywhere other than the bathroom.

I sat there thinking, "That's the lamest thing I've ever heard."
Dental hygiene is the most monotonous and mindless activity that we are forced to repeat, at least twice a day. Why not multi-task and kill two birds with one stone.

I, for example, as part of my morning routine, make my bed while brushing my teeth. It sounds intensive when really it's not. Brush in front, throw the pillows in a pile. Brush in back, tuck in the corners. See? Easy peasy.

Doing something while brushing your teeth is both fun and productive.
I can think of nothing that you can't do while brushing.

Granted, there are things that you probably wouldn't want to do while brushing, eating being at the forefront of my mind, but that's beside the point.

I solidly reserve the right to brush whenever and where ever I please. Be it in front of the TV or while checking the mail.

So it's no surprise that after having an entire conversation with my mother this morning she finally commented, "Why does it sound like you have mush in your mouth?"

Yup.
I was shinin' them pearly whites.

Pointless Holidays.

Happy Colombus Day everyone!
Do you know what this means!??

Neither do I.

I thought holidays were about celebration?...
So how is it that I'm at work... on a holiday?

By all accounts, it doesn't make any sense.

I think it's a travesty to call Columbus Day a holiday.
And tell me why, exactly, we commemorate Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday on an annual basis? Washington too. They're not the only human beings who've ever done something noteworthy. Why do they get special attention?

At least I get a break on Labor and Memorial Days.
Even if I'm not exactly sure what I should be doing to celebrate...

I think if the government is going to fabricate silly holidays and then do nothing in order to set them apart from the mundane, we should find creative ways to celebrate on our own.

For instance:

Brilliant, no!?

I plan on doing exactly that this afternoon.

Okay, maybe 'house' can be loosely interpreted as 'Lacy-Hacy's room' here, but you get the idea.

If you're not so dedicated, you can always visit someecard.com where they have a hilarious assortment of Columbus Day ecards for your viewing delight.

I am.

And will be for approximately the next hour and fifteen minutes at which point my shift will end and I will be heading to the D.I. in search of my imagined Halloween costume.

Wish me luck.

I Swear on My Life.

I know how much you all love 'storytime', so I thought I'd oblige you today. This excerpt came from a recent conversation I had with my mother and it went a little something like this:

Me: *ring*
Mom: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi."
Mom: "Hi!"
Me: "Hi... How's your day been going?"
Mom: "Pretty good."
Me: "What did you do?"
Mom: "Gardened. Yoga. Made bread. The usual. You?"
Me: "Went to work. Took a nap. The usual."
Mom: "Huh."
Me: "Yah... so... just calling so that you feel all loved and everything and know I'm still alive."
Mom: "Well that's good. Thank you." (Notice refusal to acknowledge sarcasm.)
Me: "Okay... well... love you."
Mom: "Love you too. Wait, wait, wait. I have something to talk to you about." (insert concern) "I was looking over your Facebook wall recently and there seems to be a whole lot of profanity going on there. I want to you know, I do not approve."
Me: *laughing incredulously* "Please define 'a whole lot' of profanity. I need examples."
Mom: "Well there was that word spelled out by blocks in your room..."
Me: "That was compliments of Lacy-Hacy."
Mom: "And what about that sign on the back of your door?"
Me: "Oh, right. That was definitely me."
Mom: "I don't think it's very fitting for a young lady to be using such language. I'm sure boys find it very inappropriate."
Me: "I'm sure boys find it hilarious."
Mom: *disapproving silence*

Which leads me to my topic of 'blog'scussion for the day.
(I just made that word up. It just popped right out of my head.)

Swearing vs. profanity.
I, for one, believe there is a distinct difference between the two.

For instance, I find it extremely entertaining when someone who you would never have guessed to be a potty-mouth, spouts out a curse word as if they're some bad A.

The perfect example being Sheldon from TBBT.
Declarations of "Damn you wallet nook dot com." and "Oh, gravity. Thou art a heartless bitch." bring me immense amounts of joy. Because to me, jovial cursings aren't vulgar.

It's when someone uses these words in an angry or confrontational manner that I become uncomfortable. And I've been hearing quite a bit of that lately.

Namely, I'm pretty sure my boss suffers from Tourettes Syndrome.

I'll be sitting at my desk, looking all pretty and pleasant when I hear a stream of obscenities a mile long filter past my desk. The first time it happened, I looked around nervously, trying to verify that everyone else had heard what I just heard.

There was no reaction. Not even a blink of an eye.
Thinking it rather strange but not wanting to seem impertinent, I falteringly went on with my duties.

But alas. It happened again. And again.
I am beginning to think that I'm going a bit craysee-craysee.

Because, apparently, I am supposed to refer to customers as 'guests', be as welcoming as possible and always, ALWAYS assume that they are right.

Whereas, management is allowed to pawn off visitors to various departments, stomp around melodramatically and delight all surrounding ears with the melodious mixings of venom filled expletives.

So, swearing isn't always profanity.
Is it just me, or would you agree?

I mean, swear words are just words. Their connotation comes from the method and the intent with which you use them.

It's like how my group of girl friends lovingly refer to each other as 'hoes' and 'skanks'. (But never sl**. That's unnecessary...) It means absolutely nothing to us, because of course we don't mean it in the literal sense of the words.

The amusement comes from the irony in calling a bunch of Molly-Mormons harlots.

But accidentally yell "You hoe!" when your mother intentionally sprays you, your freshly baked banana bars and all of your clean clothes with the hose upon immediately stepping out of your vehicle , and all hell's going to break loose.

Sorry Mom.
"Heck."

Caught Napping.

It's funny how things work out sometimes.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'm doing with my life. Especially with my degree. Up until this point, I've known exactly what I should be doing and when I should be doing it.

I went to grade school, middle school, jr. high and high school because that was the natural line-up of things. Then I went to college because I knew it was expected of me.

Four years later, I'm finding myself at odds with what to do next?...

I went on a fantastical trip abroad, had an amazing carefree summer and now I work part-time from 8-1 as a receptionist/cashier at a car dealership.

How does this apply to my desired field of interior design?
Simply stated, it doesn't.

Unless you count designing the magazine placement in the waiting room.
I do that a lot.

But then again, being a working professional never was what I wanted to do. I've wanted to be a mother and homemaker for as long as I can remember. Perhaps with a small home business but at home, nonetheless. Seeking a degree and a full-time career was only something I did in order to be practical about my life and about what may or may not happen for me.

But I'm tired of being practical.
I want a break gosh dang it!

I went four-years, non-stop from eight in the morning 'til eight at night doing crap that I really didn't want to do with a smile on my face. (Well... most of the time.) And now I deserve some rest.

So I feel no shame in taking a nap.
Every day. Sometimes for three hours.

Last time I checked, it's not illegal.

Favorite reactions from certain family members, who shall (but probably shouldn't) remain nameless,  usually fall within three categories: disgust, jealousy or remand.

They're disgusted when they call at three in the afternoon and discover upon my groggy answer that I've been sleeping. They're jealous that I have enough open time to allow such leisure. Then they usually rebuke my lifestyle, commenting that I'd 'better not get used to such a schedule if I plan on having 10 children'.

Really??

I am perfectly aware that it won't go on forever.
What better reason then to savor it while it lasts?...

Because it doesn't last long. No it doesn't.
I know this because this morning I was notified that I will soon be promoted to assistant office manager. It will be a full-time position with benefits and my own desk. Hoo-sha.

And though it has absolutely nothing to do with my degree, I'm content.
I always knew that there was the possibility of working in an entirely different field.

So I'll spend my days doing what I need to do, my nights doing what I want to do and my weekends doing what I probably shouldn't do.

All the while never forgetting about my ultimate goal.
Ridiculously long naps or no.