'Peas' Don't Make me Eat Them.

Due to a lack of inspiration for an entertaining post today, I shall document my favorite and least favorite fruits and vegetables and my love/aversion to them.

Thrilling, I know.
Here's the gist: peas and squash are nasty.
Watermelon, peaches and cherries are delicious.

Peas, or 'little green abominations' as I like to call them, should be banished from off the face of the Earth. Nothing good has ever come from eating a pea, cooked or raw.

They are simply little squishy balls of death.
Determined to ruin my fried rice.

The same with squash. Anything with a stringy consistency should not be eaten. Except for mango. Mangoes are delicious. I guess that the difference is mangoes taste good behind all that stringy-ness. And squash does not.

I have been told that I am crazy for this viewpoint. Hundreds of times, in fact. *cough, mom* That squash, with a little pad of butter and salt/pepper, is delicious and nutritious.

I still hold that anything, given enough butter, can be edible.
But what, pray tell, happens when you don't have enough butter to douse it in?...

No, no. Peas and squash. Do not eat them.
Stick with versatile vegetables like potatoes and green beans.

Watermelon, on the other hand, I could eat everyday for every meal. Especially when it's nice and cold. Every year, I'm sad to see summer come and go for this reason especially.

Why-oh-why can't you last all year watermelon season?

Same with peaches.
Someday, I'm going to have an orchard of peach trees. And I'm going to eat peaches with sugar and milk every morning for breakfast. I am.

Scratch that. I'm going to have an orchard of peach and cherry trees. Don't want to leave my very favoritest fruit out.

Cherry is, by far, my favorite flavor. Everything is better with it.

Cherry pie, Sonic cherry CreamSlush, cherry chapstick, Jergen's cherry-almond lotion. Maraschino cherries, cherry cordials, pretty-please with a cherry on top. You get the idea.

There is nothing that cannot be improved by a cherry. Or two. Or seven.
Actually, I take that back. Peas can not be improved by a cherry on top. Squash either.

Some things are just beyond the magical powers of the cherry.

Normally, Crazy-Interesting.

There are about five-million times each day when I'm reading some witty quote on Pinterest and think to myself, "That is so totally me!"

So after thinking that the five-millionth time, I decided it was about time I compiled a list. Don't cha think?

And so, without further ado,

25 things you should know about Corinner-Elly:

1) I adore spontaneity, providing it is carefully planned.
2) I'm a recovering people pleaser. (Is that okay?...)
3) My fear is that PMS doesn't exist and this is my real personality.
4) When I say I won't tell anyone, my best friend doesn't count.
5) I eat my feelings and they taste delicious.
6) Sometimes, the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
7) I may look calm, but in my head I've killed you three times.
8) If eye-rolling burned calories, I'd be anorexic.
9) I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
10) When I'm feeling sick, I Google my symptoms and usually find out I have cancer.
11) My only professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer screen other than me.
12) When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left a million dollars under the..."
13) I hate it when I'm drinking and the ice just attacks my face.
14) I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
15) I do many things well, none of which generate income.
16) If I ever had to run for my life, I'd probably die.
17) I hate it when I don't forward a chain letter, and I die the next day.
18) I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation.
19) I hate it when crumbs fall in my cleavage. Sometimes, my boobs eat more than I do.
20) If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries.
21) I'm sarcastic and have a smart a** attitude. It's a natural defense against drama, bull crap and stupidity.
22) I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order, like they should be.
23) I don't need to flirt. I seduce people with my awkwardness.
24) I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious.
25) I'm still haunted by the things I did for a Klondike Bar.

So there it is. Me in a nutshell.
Don't judge.

According to my niece, Allie, people fall into one of three categories: normal, interesting or crazy. And the way I see it, there is only one possible choice when describing me.

And we all know what that is, right?...

WTFrick?...

Is it just me, or have common text acronyms such as 'lol' lost their original meaning an/or context?

I mean, for me at least, 'lol' has changed from meaning 'lots of laughter' or 'laughing out loud' to 'I find that slightly amusing'. Of course, LOL still means I'm dying from hilarity, but you get my point.

And why do some people insist on writing in all caps
ALL OF THE TIME?...

Are they literally yelling non-stop? Because that cannot be good for the throat. That or their keyboard is broken, in which case, I'd think they'd refrain from posting comments on Facebook until it was repaired.

Either way, it's annoying.

But it's ridiculous how many text and chat acronyms there are now. I thought I knew most of them until I moved in with Lacy-Hacy.

That girl has introduced me to a great many new things...
My mom is concerned.

One of which being SOL. (Sh** out of luck. Surely, if you're ladylike.)
Am I the only one who had no idea what this means?...

Likewise with SSDD. (Same sh**, different day.)
You can tell she has a favorite swear.

But you can make any phrase into an acronym, really. Don't know why you would want to, it would probably create unnecessary confusion. But still.

For instance, typing IRBAWAWTEAC is surely not as effective as just saying 'I'm really bored at work and want to eat a corndog'. But some people are just addicted, I guess. I figure they figure it's easier to say 'lol' when they have nothing to say than to say nothing at all.

I'm more of a proponent of not saying anything unless you have something worth saying. But I dunno... whatever floats your boat.

In any case,
GTG. TTYL.

Clan Conspiracies.

On Monday, I brought 'someone' home to meet the family.
He was subjected to the expected interrogation and mild insults.
All manageable.

We were, however, luckily enough to have missed a certain brother-in-law, who was absent due to some twist of fate. What a relief.

It was the annual Haymore pumpkin carving/painting FHE, and we, of course, were determined to walk away with the best design respectively.

By the end of the night, we had both completed veritable masterpieces, I with swirling carved forms and he with a sculpted depiction of Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

The drive home consisted of debating whose was better. He insisted that mine was not technically 'Halloween' worthy, and therefore inferior while I maintained that my concept was entirely superior.

Being the saint that I am, I offered that we might both consider ourselves grand prize winners, I in the 'Autumn' category and he in the 'Halloween'. But he swiftly refused, claiming that he and only he was worthy of 'gold place'. (I'm pretty sure this is a mixture of 'gold star' and '1st place', but who knows?...)

We decided that the only way to settle it was to take a vote and seeing that everyone in my apartment would naturally vote for me, I decided to post it to Facebook. Leave it up to the good people of the web to decide.

The voting started off well, and it wasn't long before I was in the lead.

But apparently, I was not fully aware of the bond he had somehow formed with every single member of my immediate family during such a short visit. Because less than 24-hours later, he had already earned the entire population's votes.

Including several of the family dogs.

This is why I both love and hate my family at the same time.
Love because they always come together and do things as a team.

Hate because, in this instance, the team effort was aimed at destroying me and my pumpkin personally.

In fact, since writing this post, there have been several new additions to the 'We Love Dan' club. Pretty sure this is mutiny of some kind.

So thanks a bunch, fam.
I have never met such a determined group of people so set on watching me squirm. And let me tell ya, you've succeeded.

I was told blood ran thicker than water. But now...?
I see how it is.