A wise man once said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
I beg to differ. We have plenty to fear.
For instance:
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
(My irony radar is going off...)
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
(Well that's just silly. They're practically the most loving creatures on earth.)
Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation.
(Hello fiber!)
Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks.
(Been there.)
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.
(They have teeth. Like this!)
See? All valid concerns.
Coincidentally, the radio talkshow host I was listening to this morning introduced a new topic: strange phobias. Several callers phoned in, one who claimed that his wife suffered from linonophobia (fear of string) and that socks practically rendered her catatonic.
I wondered how she handles string cheese?
But I've gone off topic. Here's what I have to say:
Many a good person is afraid of one thing or another.
Take, for instance, my sister-in-law. She suffers from acute arachnaphobia. Not only do spiders give her the heebie-jeebies, she attests to their continual plotting; forevermore in league to unite and destroy her while she sleeps.
I beg to differ. We have plenty to fear.
For instance:
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
(My irony radar is going off...)
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
(Well that's just silly. They're practically the most loving creatures on earth.)
Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation.
(Hello fiber!)
Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks.
(Been there.)
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.
(They have teeth. Like this!)
See? All valid concerns.
Coincidentally, the radio talkshow host I was listening to this morning introduced a new topic: strange phobias. Several callers phoned in, one who claimed that his wife suffered from linonophobia (fear of string) and that socks practically rendered her catatonic.
I wondered how she handles string cheese?
But I've gone off topic. Here's what I have to say:
Many a good person is afraid of one thing or another.
Take, for instance, my sister-in-law. She suffers from acute arachnaphobia. Not only do spiders give her the heebie-jeebies, she attests to their continual plotting; forevermore in league to unite and destroy her while she sleeps.
So naturally, when I saw this latest Savage Chickens comic, I couldn't help but think of her. And wonder if I have now caused her paranoia to shift, perhaps?...
Mine certainly has.
Actually, I have bigger issues.
(I know. You never would have guessed.)
(I know. You never would have guessed.)
Namely, nanosophobia: fear of dwarfs, midgets and little people.
Well... in a manner of speaking.
You want me to expound upon this? Are you sure you want to witness the horror? Do ya, do ya, do ya? Fine.
Wanna know what's really fiendishly freakish?
Something that makes my stomach churn?
The stuff of nightmares as a child?
Heck. The stuff of nightmares as an adult?
Okay. I'll tell/show you.
Oompa-Loompas.
(Doesn't the name strike fear in your heart?)
(Doesn't the name strike fear in your heart?)
Come on now.
Anything with green hair and a red-orange face is un-natural.
Anything with green hair and a red-orange face is un-natural.
Yet another strange and un-earthly example can be found in Mr. Tumnus from the animated version of 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe'. Be warned. Mental scarring may occur.
Are you freaked out yet!?
It took a good amount of courage to search these videos out for you on YouTube. You should thank me for facing my fears.
Then again... you may also want to hunt me down and gut me like a fish for passing on the nightmares of green-haired, red-faced dwarfs who sing satanically as frightening little words bounce around the room.
Or of a demonish half-goat man who plays evil music to 'Sons of Adam' & 'Daughters of Eve' in hopes of lulling them into a false sense of security before shipping them off to the villainous White Witch.
You're not thinking that, right? *nervous laugh*
I'm scared.
5 comments:
Thanks. Now I have to sleep with a clothes-pin on my nose, Amy March style.
Toby shrieked like his arm was being chopped off while we were driving through a busy roundabout the other day. I had to make it through the roundabout before I could ask they hysterical boy what/who was murdering him... there was a daddy long-legs crawling on him. I was sympathetic, but also had a hard time not letting him see how much I was silently laughing while he was still crying a little bit in the backseat.
I have a fear of moths (freaky!And they fly right toward your face ... at least toward my face) I think they're out to get me.
Moths and cardboard. I feel the inner-need to wash my hands after touching it. Blah.
Hehehe... :D
Poor Toby. I knew you passed on your dislike for olives but I don't think I realized he has the same disdain for spiders.
Moths are gross! Having to squish them and hear that revolting 'crunch' at girl's camp scarred me for life!
But cardboard?... does seeing a UPS truck cause you distress?
lol. :P
Does that mean that your afraid of Kristene too?
Heads up.
I just related this comment to Khristine and, be warned, she may or may not come after you with a tennis racket.
Keep your eyes peeled.
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