She goes around in circles 'til she's very, very dizzy.

Friday, December 10, 2010

I 'Sew' Fly.

I don't know bout' choo, but I'm loving the new Facebook profile. Know what else I'm loving? That people aren't incessantly complaining about it all day long.

Facebook changes people.
Facebook WILL CHANGE. Deal with it.

I swear. There are certain Facebook trends that people just can't seem to let go of. I think I'll compile a little list for future reference. It goes a little something like this:

The 'If You Wish to Be My Friend, You Must Never-Ever-Ever Be Found Guilty of Using These Abominable Antics' List.

1) Status letters (aforementioned here)
2) Fake relationship statuses (That was funny in second grade.)
3) Complaints over site upgrades (see above)
4) Statuses about the weather (NO ONE CARES)
5) Statuses begging others to repost (We know you love your family! Dedicating status(es) to them is LAME.)
6) Statuses guilting you to repost (Let's face it people. Pretending you're a character from your childhood will not help child abuse victims. It will, however, make you look like a mindless fad-following land maggot.)
7) Ugly profile pictures (Isn't having to look at you in real life enough?)
8) Constant Contest Entries (You know, if you're deluded enough to think you're going to magically win a free laptop or airline tickets or frickin' pony by giving your information away online, we shouldn't associate. In fact, *click*. We don't.)
9) Eternally sick statuses (If you're deathly ill EVERYDAY, isn't it your normal? I don't post about feeling good every blasted time I get online. So give it a change. Let me know when you're feeling well, m'kay? Which is never, apparently.)
10) Inspirational status quotes (God loves me? My voice is powerful? Love is all I need? Let's all be vague and existential together!)

I could probably go on forever but I'm just starting to realize that I am fueling a potentially deadly army of friendly retribution.

Meaning...

You are all going to continue to do these things, except now, with a VENGEANCE. Right? Right?

Please. I beg you. Have mercy.

*sigh*
I brought this upon myself.

My one consolation is my newly re-made coat.
My Mommy-dearest offered to buy me a new one from JC Penney (not 'Penny's' for once, thank heaven :P) online but, unfortunately, the fit was not right.

Curse you unrealistically trim JC Penney catalog models!

So I had to work some magic. See?


Lumpy, boxy disgusting-ness -----> Corinner-licious-ness.
 

I ended up taking off a good bit of length because the 'trench' style made me look like I had little nubbins for legs. Then, I used that extra material (and the extra buttons they sew onto the liner) to make a belt at the waist.

And what, you ask, did I use for clasps to those buttons?
Why, an old stretched-out hairband, I reply. Useless for holding hair but perfect for winter coat re-purposing.

I love the wide-lapels on the collar.
They look all stately and sophisticated.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to monitor my Facebook wall.
I'm sure it's going to explode any second now...

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Ok, it's official. Next time I need alterations, I'm hiring you. You got skills girl! That coat is adorable!

Falling Stars said...

I think that it's more than just ability. It's VISION! Most people look at something and think it's fine the way it is. Some look at something and think it could be somehow.. Others still just wait someone else to give them a project. You're none of the above. ;)

Anonymous said...

The first looks like what a nanny from Super Nanny would wear. The altered jacket looks completely fabulous. Well done! ;)

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...