The Princess and the Peas.

Eureka! I've found it.
The only constant in the known universe.

My dad's magical ability to fix any appliance, no matter how hopelessly mangled it seems.

You see, all you have to do is find an device that simply won't work no matter how much you try, fiddle, curse, diagnose, kick, cry, weep or wail. When all hope is lost and you curse the heavens for your luck, just head inside and find Pops.

Once you've successfully bemoaned your sorry lot in life, wailed over the misfortune of your predicament and utterly convinced him that there is no possible way that it will ever start again, he will follow you to the problem.

As you stand slightly behind him, whimpering softly, he will look the object over, tap it softly and, no fail... it will start instantly.

"And... what was the problem?", he'll question.

There is never an answer, simply the steady beat of a head pounding against the nearest wall.

Such was my lot in life while trying to find staples for one of the trusty ole' red staple guns in the chaos that is our gargage. Apparently, you have to have a certain level of brains to find those little suckers amid the confusion because after endlessly scouring high and low, I couldn't for the life of me locate them.

Rest assured. It took Dad two seconds.

After all that I do. After all that I have done.
It's never enough.

But I have a story for you.
It's called 'Corinner-Elly and the Holiday Weekend'.

Once upon a time, there was a real princess/slave known as Corinner-Elly. She had been invited by an older sister to sleepover for the upcoming holiday weekend.

Due to her innate kindness, she accepted.

Over the course of the next four days, she...

created a headboard that was said to have been inspired by her older sister though, truth be known, she had really thought of first.

Joy was heard throughout the land when no one was accidentally stapled in the process.

arranged various articles in a lovely stripped pink room, the organizational elements in which almost brought her to tears.

admired the new owl themed bedset her sister had purchased for her children while reflecting on the mis-matched hand-me-downs of her childhood.

helped place various sentimental items in logical order upon newing shelving units in the new baby's room while trying not to stare at the lava lamp in a trance-like state.

soothed her niece Lil' when, at various points, she started crying, "I want my Tin-neh!" Which naturally melted her heart.

discovered that one of Lil's favorite dolls, originally meant to be two-dolls-in-one but had, due to unfortunate circumstances, become a two-headed princess, still hadn't been repaired and therefore grabbed a needle and thread. Before long, it was back to normal, good as new.

all while teaching her budding seamstress, 10-year-old niece how to 'pivot at the corner' while sewing slipcovers for Grandma's kitchen window seat pillows.

Sadly, an iron was no where to be found.

Before long, she came to two sad realizations:

A) that her stay was almost over.
-and-
B) no matter how long she might lay out in the sun while her nieces and nephew played on the waterslides, she would never successfully tan.

Thus, the real princess/slave Corinner-Elly reached the end of her happy journey.

She had enjoyed every minute of her holiday weekend while cooking, cleaning and otherwise trying to be generally helpful whilst having ever-so-much-fun helping her sister re-do her upstairs and loving all the family, friends, fireworks, fun and food.

Except for the peas.

The end.