Really Gets my Goat.

Today, I find myself perpetually annoyed. But in a good way.
The way that proves to be extremely effective in amusing myself.

So, to begin, I must ask that you not take me too seriously.
I promise to do the same for you. Forever and always.

And so, without further ado, I present: *drum roll please*
The Ever Evolving List of Corinner-Elly's Pet Peeves.

Let us begin.

#1- Kissing toothbrushes.

You know what I mean, right?
When your sister's toothbrush is always leaned up against yours, bristles touching?

Is this not like kissing your sister? Gross.

But funny story.
When I was probably, oh, 12 er' so, my older sister was dating a creep named Jimmy. I had recently visited the dentist and was sent home with a brand spankin' new toothbrush which I lovingly placed in the communal bathroom holder.

Little did I know, my Daddy-O (bless his heart) had come in earlier that day searching for something to clean a small mechanical part with and had (he claims innocently) selected what he termed an 'abandoned toothbrush' as his own.

Namely, my older sister's. Identical both in color and form to my own, new... toothbrush.

Thus, my sister and I shared the same toothbrush for several months. Unbeknownst to us.

You'd think consistently finding it wet would have clued me in?...

Eventually, the error was discovered to my un-ending horror.
To make matters worse, my sister thought it everlastingly funny that it was 'almost as if' I had been kissing her boyfriend as well.

*shudder*

So, peoples of the world. Do me a favor.
Buy toothbrush containers with divider holes and keep the toothbrush make-out sessions to a minimum.

'nuf said.

#2- Facebook PDAs.

GAH.
Really people.
Get a virtual room.

#3- Babblers.

There's a reason why thoughts are contained inside our heads.
It's called a personal filter.

Alas, this function must be broken in some people. *cough, mom*

#4- Hypochondriacs.

She was my roommate. And she was insane.
I dub her One Big Over Diagnosis.

Face it. You cannot suffer from Claustrophobia, test anxiety, Restless Leg Syndrome, depression, Nyctophobia, frequent bruising, constant joint pain, extreme motion sickness, inner ear problems, allergies to fruit loops & tomatoes, Acrophobia, Attention Deficit Disorder and a variety of broken bones all at the same time!

You would explode.

#5- Irrelevant comments/sob stories.

Because no one wants to hear your life's story.
Especially me.

#6- Blatant body noises.

If you can make as little sound as possible, please do.
Or just refrain entirely.

#7- Formalities.

If you ask me "What's up?", I will say "The sky and/or ceiling."
If you ask me "How are you?", I will say "Why? You don't care."
If you ask me "Is something the matter?", I will say "Your face."

#8- Scales of 1 to 10.

Whoever came up with this dumb method of measuring appeal should be shot.

It's all so very, very subjective! What's the difference between a seven and an eight? How can you tell if it's really a two not a three? See?

Just say:
A- "I like it."
B- "I don't like it."
-or-
C- "Bug off."

#9- Crumbs.

Have the decency to simply brush the remnants of whatever it is you just concocted into your hand and then into the trash.
It's not that hard.

Really.

#10- Whiners.

Oh boy. *nervous smile*
That's ironic.