A 'Whale' of a Tale

So, sneezing.

There is some debate on the subject.

My 'baby sneeze' was recently compared to the common accidental 'snort', produced occasionally while laughing.

Tell me about it. I didn't get the connection either.

The musky office in the which I spend the majority of my time these days, contains an obscenely large proportion of dust. Thus, while hardly working *ah hem* I mean, working hard, I naturally have my fair share of 'gesundheits'.

Anywho. In my opinion, if, when you sneeze, the house shakes, babies cry and grandpa runs from the breakfast table yelling 'earthquake!', something cannot be right.

If a sneeze can be contained in such a way  that it produces the smallest amount of noise, and therefore disturbance, as possible, you should be congratulated. Nobody wants their eardrums burst while being simultaneously spewed because 'repressing a sneeze' is considered harmful.

I don't care what you say.
Holding it in will not cause brain damage.

Plus, word has it that the 'baby sneeze' epidemic is spreading. I can recall at least three people who have admired such a quality lovingly, claiming that 'they too' wish such a sneeze were to be their own.

So there. Point proven.

Yesterday, Wymount welcomed back summer by inviting children, one and all, to 'Come and Play in the Water'. It was a hit, biggest activity turnout thus far.

We made sure that the sprinklers were all up n' running and provided them young-un's with squirt guns, water toys and a large container of water balloons which, as I should have guessed, were all popped by a horde of rambunctious boys before the younger ones even had time to bat an eye.

It wasn't long before they were all running around like crazy people, dousing anyone and everyone within arm's reach. One little boy loved the kiddie pool so much, he just couldn't let his clothes stand between himself and the grassy water.

Thus, several minutes later, a frazzled mother fished one squirmy bare bottom from the pool, diaper and trunks in one hand, screaming naked boy in the other.

Em n' I, observed the battlefront from a distance while passing out Otter-Pops by the dozens. I'm fairly positive most of the kids made off with quite the stash. They'd file up, one by one, and just stand there, gazing up at me, begging for more.

Oh, with the face... and the EYES!
"Alright, alright!", I'd give in.

Then, across the way, something caught my eye.

"Poor girl." I noticed, "She just got 'whaled' in the face!"

I gaped comically at Em, mouth ajar. "Eh, eh?", I grinned while teasingly prodding her in the ribs with my elbow.

"What?", her face questioned quizzically.

"Oh come on!" I challenged disbelievingly, "Whaled-Wailed. Get it?"

The light bulb was not coming on.

"He was whacking her with a whale water toy.", I pronounced slowly.

"Oh..." Em laughed nervously, "That's funny."

Baby sneezes or no.
I think it's safe to say that my love of puns is not contagious.